I avoid everything that would possibly be affected by my condition.

T

T.C

So I smoked some weed and I don’t know what happened but a wave of depression and paranoia hit me like a truck and I still feel the same way it’s been nearly two years. I just don’t feel normal, my life has changed so much and I want to go back. I’m not diagnosed but I assume it is PTSD. I don’t dream about the event. I think about it a lot, but what keeps me this way is how it makes me feel and how I can’t do the things I used to enjoy rather than the event itself. I avoid any activity, other than the ones I have to do, that will possibly be ruined by the state I am in. Say if I play a game, every time after I play it again I will be reminded that I am traumatised and depressed, and this happens with everything now. It’s such a big complex structure now, I just want to be happy again and not be conscious of everything I do.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
So I smoked some weed and I don’t know what happened but a wave of depression and paranoia hit me like a truck
Well, you smoked some weed. That's what happened. There's risk in that. I'm not anti-weed at all, just get tired of hearing about how surprised people are when they have assumed that this potent psychoactive substance is always benign. It's not.
a wave of depression and paranoia hit me like a truck and I still feel the same way it’s been nearly two years.
There's a thing, and it's called Substance (or Medication) Abuse Depressive Disorder. There's also a specifier for substance-induced anxiety disorder, substance-induced bipolar disorder, and (I believe) a few others.

It's possible that's not what's going on with you - but it's the first place to look. You really need to see a doctor to help you untangle it.
I think about it a lot, but what keeps me this way is how it makes me feel and how I can’t do the things I used to enjoy rather than the event itself.
I strongly recommend you see a psychiatrist, and talk them through what you're dealing with, and see if they can help you in any way.

If it is a substance-induced disorder - you'll need to think of it as a pharmacological injury, resulting in persistent and negative effects. Another way to say that is - drugs hurt your brain. You'll possibly need drugs to put it right again.
 
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