BlueWeepingRose
Confident
I avoid sex. I know this is too much info, but once I masturbated and I cried afterwards. Than my whole body started shaking. So now I try to avoid sex or masturbating. There's guys I like or who I'm attracted too but I'm scared that they'll use me as a sexual object or rape me. I'm scared of getting close to men now and when I do end up liking them, I try to push the thoughts away because I know I will end up crying if I do anything sexual with them. Being in a relationship isn't what I should be doing right now, I should be trying to heal from things first. Feeling any kind of attraction is scary because I know what it will lead to, me crying, me getting anxiety and me getting flashback's. Healing from all of this is scary and it's hard to talk about it, so I post everything on here. Thanks for listening, but I needed to get this out.