Sufferer I awoke and realized that l have ptsd

Lostlotus

New Here
Hi, l am a 62 year old woman suffering with ptsd since age five. I did not even know that I had this condition all these years because my trauma and diagnosis have all flashed back to me in past year. This has been a terrible year. The trauma was horrible and I never knew that that had happened to me. I am here looking for support and to help those that I can. My family does not understand what I am going through. I am heartbroken.
 

Renly

Confident
Hi there! I’m so sorry for your pain. My PTSD’s full expression had a delayed onset as well so I can sympathize. Do you have any support in place (ie: therapist?). My therapist has been my lifeline. This forum has been immensely helpful for me in finding people with similar experiences (who GET it) and has made me feel less alone and isolated.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome. I can't begin to imagine being faced with healing trauma at 61. My heart goes out to you. Glad to see you reaching out. And yes, you will get a lot of support and validation here.

Hope you read around the forum, articles, threads that sound like they may be helpful, to see how broad and wide the experiences are here. You are not alone.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello lotus. welcome to the forum.

i'm 67 and started psychotherapy in 1972. i have 10 siblings (4 older and 6 younger) who shared my childhood trauma, but i am the only one in the family "crazy" enough to need psychotherapy. is it progress that some of my nieces and nephews call the family alma mater (prison), "the alternate mental health system?" the family tradition of prison time remains woefully active.

confronting all the psycho snot knots attached to such a family heritage is not as easy as "just getting over it," but i remain convinced it is never too late to heal.

for what it's worth
even the family members who DO understand make lousy therapists/therapy supporters. may i never be able to detach from a loved one far enough to make a good therapist. it takes a village to live a healthy life. i need BOTH loved ones AND objective professionals.
 

Lostlotus

New Here
Hi there! I’m so sorry for your pain. My PTSD’s full expression had a delayed onset as well so I can sympathize. Do you have any support in place (ie: therapist?). My therapist has been my lifeline. This forum has been immensely helpful for me in finding people with similar experiences (who GET it) and has made me feel less alone and isolated.
Hi and thank you for your sympathy! I am just starting to reach out and may need therapy but for now I just need understanding. Hope all goes well for you!
 

Lostlotus

New Here
Hi @Lostlotus, welcome to the site. It's never to late to start healing. Ptsd and related mental illness can be so isolating so I hope that being here helps you.
Hi and thank you for your encouraging words! Yes I have been isolated for too long. I finally see light at the end of the tunnel by being here!

Welcome. I can't begin to imagine being faced with healing trauma at 61. My heart goes out to you. Glad to see you reaching out. And yes, you will get a lot of support and validation here.

Hope you read around the forum, articles, threads that sound like they may be helpful, to see how broad and wide the experiences are here. You are not alone.
Hi and thanks for the welcome! It is good to know that I am not alone. I have looked through a lot of information in a short period of time. There are many options available and I am just now reaching out. My heart goes out to anyone going through this, and thank you all!
 
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Lostlotus

New Here
Welcome to the forum! So true, having someone else understand what you're going through can be helpful. This community has much to offer in peer support. @Lostlotus, if I may, have you been diagnosed with PTSD?
Thank you for the welcome! I know that I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten. It was not called ptsd back then. They just said that I was a traumatized child. I was a special needs child. Somehow I never connected it to ptsd in my in adult life until now. I have all the symptoms.

hello lotus. welcome to the forum.

i'm 67 and started psychotherapy in 1972. i have 10 siblings (4 older and 6 younger) who shared my childhood trauma, but i am the only one in the family "crazy" enough to need psychotherapy. is it progress that some of my nieces and nephews call the family alma mater (prison), "the alternate mental health system?" the family tradition of prison time remains woefully active.

confronting all the psycho snot knots attached to such a family heritage is not as easy as "just getting over it," but i remain convinced it is never too late to heal.

for what it's worth
even the family members who DO understand make lousy therapists/therapy supporters. may i never be able to detach from a loved one far enough to make a good therapist. it takes a village to live a healthy life. i need BOTH loved ones AND objective professionals.
Thank you! I understand what you are saying. I have decided to reach out to not burden my family. They can't understand this right now. Living in this house with this. Just trying to cope with it all. Be strong!
 

Friday

Moderator
Welcome to the community! 😁

Thank you for the welcome! I know that I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten. It was not called ptsd back then. They just said that I was a traumatized child. I was a special needs child. Somehow I never connected it to ptsd in my in adult life until now. I have all the symptoms.

Whilst you could very easily have PTSD or CPTSD, it’s probably important to know that traumatized children (can) develop any of dozens of disorders just as easily.

It’s not as simple as trauma = PTSD (nor complex trauma = CPTSD, people can have complex trauma & have PTSD alone, or no PTSD whatsoever, but another disorder or none). Put 10 people through the same trauma? 9 will develop 9 totally different disorders, and 1 won’t develop any kind of disorder whatsoever.

Important to know… because all disorders share symptoms, but the best treatment for those symptoms varies tremendously. People can, and often do, waste years and years attempting to treat one disorder, get a new diagnosis, and for the first time ever? Start making tremendous progress.

So I cannot more highly recommend getting a formal diagnosis (including a complete medical/physical, to rule out any physiological causes or contributors…

((a common example for women is thyroid being off, making any symptom set both worse and more “resistant” to treatment. The symptom actually isn’t resistant at all… but coming from 2 places; one psychological, one physiological. And that’s just one example of thousands of medical causes or contributors. It is reeeeeeeally worth making sure everything is running tickety boo))

…just so that you don’t wake up at 72yo with a diagnosis you could have had and been treating &/or cured since the summer of ‘22, ya know?

Again, welcome! 😁 None of this is to say that you don’t have PTSD or CPTSD. You very well may have. I just hate seeing people lose years of their life, just because a handful of disorders are well known out and about in the world, but the vast majority no one’s ever heard of… until they get it… or go to school and have to memorise them, whilst thanking their lucky stars they will only ever work with 5 or 10 or 20, rather than all 200+, so they only need to get really familiar with their specialty, rather than the whole durn kit and kaboodle.
 

Lostlotus

New Here
Welcome to the community! 😁



Whilst you could very easily have PTSD or CPTSD, it’s probably important to know that traumatized children (can) develop any of dozens of disorders just as easily.

It’s not as simple as trauma = PTSD (nor complex trauma = CPTSD, people can have complex trauma & have PTSD alone, or no PTSD whatsoever, but another disorder or none). Put 10 people through the same trauma? 9 will develop 9 totally different disorders, and 1 won’t develop any kind of disorder whatsoever.

Important to know… because all disorders share symptoms, but the best treatment for those symptoms varies tremendously. People can, and often do, waste years and years attempting to treat one disorder, get a new diagnosis, and for the first time ever? Start making tremendous progress.

So I cannot more highly recommend getting a formal diagnosis (including a complete medical/physical, to rule out any physiological causes or contributors…

((a common example for women is thyroid being off, making any symptom set both worse and more “resistant” to treatment. The symptom actually isn’t resistant at all… but coming from 2 places; one psychological, one physiological. And that’s just one example of thousands of medical causes or contributors. It is reeeeeeeally worth making sure everything is running tickety boo))

…just so that you don’t wake up at 72yo with a diagnosis you could have had and been treating &/or cured since the summer of ‘22, ya know?

Again, welcome! 😁 None of this is to say that you don’t have PTSD or CPTSD. You very well may have. I just hate seeing people lose years of their life, just because a handful of disorders are well known out and about in the world, but the vast majority no one’s ever heard of… until they get it… or go to school and have to memorise them, whilst thanking their lucky stars they will only ever work with 5 or 10 or 20, rather than all 200+, so they only need to get really familiar with their specialty, rather than the whole durn kit and kaboodle.
Hi! Thank you for sharing this information with me. I have had symptoms of ptsd all my life. I thought I was the only one dealing with this. At this point l am beginning to understand body flashbacks I had all my life. Flashback in nightmare, panic attacks, emotional flashbacks and finally recovering that terrible memory through vivid surreal flashbacks that I had to relive the terrorr that last for months. I see myself differently. I never knew that I was sexually assaulted and attempted murder multiple times until I was finally left for dead. I understand why I do not trust people and would distance from them. Knowing this I feel a little Better. I am going to see my md about my physical symptoms. They told me I had anxiety disorder in my 20's because of panic attacks. This is much worse. 5ft. Tall an 89 pounds and cannot gain any because of trembling in terror. Not much sleep and such. Thank you for your concern and hope you are doing well
 
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