I called my boss a narcissist

[Rorster93]

I was raped by my stepfather at the age of six years old, then groomed and molested by him until I was 26 years old, at which point, I got away from him. My therapist mentioned that he might have had narcissistic personality disorder based on my descriptions of his behavior and treatment towards me.

Fast forward, I have a new boss. He also exhibits narcissistic traits. I've spoken to my therapist about him and came to the understanding that he is no threat to me.

My boss also knew that I didn't have the highest idea of him. I would deliberately refuse to pay him the center of attention and refused to allow him to influence my personal life like he does with other workers.

I overheard a coworker of mine try to get him a date with a woman who did work on the restaurant. She told this woman that he was an amazing guy and everyone loves him. She made him seem like a Saint from heaven, like he could measure up to the Pope if he wanted. In a moment of misjudgment, I quickly chimed in, confirmed they were speaking of the general manager, and disputed her claim of sainthood. I told the woman that he is a narcissist and that she is forewarned. Now, the manager and all his flying monkeys are mad at me.

PTSD can be a bit funny sometimes.

 

[Sideways]

@Rorster93 - what sort of responses are you looking for?

 

[arfie]

in my own herstory, what i currently call, "foot-in-mouth disease" was born of my compulsive, amateur psychoanalyzing. "narcissism" does seem to be a popular diagnosis among amateur psychoanalysts. the temptation to psychoanalyze everyone who crosses my path is still pretty intense but i am getting pretty good at keeping my foot out of my mouth with the reminder that i am NOT a licensed psychoanalyst.

for what it's worth
under this approach my long standing dx for my own departed, narcissistic mother has been revised to, "a very sick woman." she's still dead, but i no longer assume my armchair psychoanalysis of her life is accurate. i'm not at all sure i ever knew the woman behind the untreated illness.

 

[Rorster93]

@Rorster93 - what sort of responses are you looking for?

Mainly just sharing

 

[Rorster93]

I am also not a licensed psychologist, so my opinion of my boss being a narcissist is not credible.

I just think it's a unique way for a trigger to show up.

 

[Rorster93]

for what it's worth
under this approach my long standing dx for my own departed, narcissistic mother has been revised to, "a very sick woman." she's still dead, but i no longer assume my armchair psychoanalysis of her life is accurate. i'm not at all sure i ever knew the woman behind the untreated ilillness.

My abuser has also passed away. We should really leave the dead's personality disorders with them, but with PTSD it's easier said than done. The damage they caused is still with us.

 

[arfie]

We should really leave the dead's personality disorders with them, but with PTSD it's easier said than done. The damage they caused is still with us.

amen, i say unto thee, amen. i have abusers whose names i never knew more than 50 years ago when i had the misfortune of crossing paths with them and they still have the power to control me from wherever the f*ck they are today.

in my own quest to regain the personal power they stole from a helpless child, i've found my greatest progress in not fighting that fact and reducing their memories to filthy stains on the sidewalk. those stains are still ugly as sin, but i can walk over them without tripping. life goes on.

 

[Rorster93]

amen, i say unto thee, amen. i have abusers whose names i never knew more than 50 years ago when i had the misfortune of crossing paths with them and they still have the power to control me from wherever the f*ck they are today.

in my own quest to regain the personal power they stole from a helpless child, i've found my greatest progress in not fighting that fact and reducing their memories to filthy stains on the sidewalk. those stains are still ugly as sin, but i can walk over them without tripping. life goes on.

Good for you! They may have stained our pasts, but they don't have to stain our future. I'm determined to have a normal rest of my life. My abuser still intrudes my mind. I let him. All he can do now is invade my dreams. But he is powerless, more and more. I am becoming more aware of my triggers and, currently, embracing silence. Words unspoken do not cause me problems, something President Coolidge said.