Sufferer I can’t feel my feet

Renly

MyPTSD Pro
New here. Hello! Trauma finally caught up with me after many years of stuffing (which apparently I have been very good at)…oh the secrets I’ve kept from myself!! Anyways…thankful I’m not alone (although that also makes me sad) and having the opportunity to read posts here at least makes me feel less isolated. Working through EMDR for just a couple of months now and overall it’s been a healing (if not a “it definitely gets worse before it gets better”) experience. I love my therapist and although it’s been hard, I know I can’t turn back. Today I experienced my toughest session to date…dissociation anyone? I think I ended up outside my “window of tolerance”…which makes sense since I was off the charts elevated. I was also unable to feel my hands and feet when processing my memory. We are going to have to definitely slow this one down. Thanks for reading. I’m sure I’ll have more to say again soon.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Welcome to the forum:)

I haven't done EMDR. But I remember one of my inpatient programs, I was working with one of the physical therapists, and she ran me through some reflexology or something. I do a lot of exercise and stuff, but this was just her showing me how to roll this small rubber ball under the sole of my foot.

Long story short, I ended up in tears in the gym. Because I was standing there feeling my feet, and they felt good! One of those weird experiences that people who don't dissociate a lot probably wouldn't really understand.

The upshot of that is, welcome to the forum. And if you can't feel your hands and feet (and your circulation and internal wiring is all in order), then yeah, I get what you mean. And the day you can feel your hands and feet again, and you notice? It will be an awesome day. The hard work you're doing now will be worth it.
 

Lionheart

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome @Renly.
I hope you will benefit as much as I have from being a member of this site.

I remember my hands feeling too big when I regressed to a child state once or twice but I don't know if I have ever felt numb or unable to feel my hands and feet. I will be interested to read more about you and your experiences.
 

Renly

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks for your comments, everyone. I’ve since done some research and found (if I’m remembering properly) that when the body goes into fight/flight response - but then faint, all the blood leaves the extremities and moves towards the organs as an attempt to keep you alive. This explains the numb hands and feet since the blood rushed away. During that session, I was finally getting the opportunity to experience an appropriate fight/flight response that was suppressed during this trauma. It was extremely intense!!!! But….Science is cool!! I dissociated in real life during this specific trauma (floating above myself) and I also ended up dissociating during the EMDR processing and haven’t been able to complete the processing of this memory yet despite many weeks of trying. I am learning my window of tolerance. It’s been a huge challenge. But I am hopeful.
 
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