I can NEVER relax

SunsetDawn83

Learning
I'm always on alert waiting to fight, freeze or flee. I'm a freezer, I only relax at bedtime. Even during the day if im doing something I enjoy, im keeping a close eye on and a open ear for the worst. I'm constantly tired with constant headaches and neck pain. I'm anxious about almost everything, from the weather to saying the wrong thing. I
I go over and over for days before in my head what ill say on the phone/in person. I don't want to sound like an idiot or a liar. I'm even going over in my head how to say things here. I'm even anxious to post here in case I post something on the wrong thread. I can never do anything right.
*Edited* even now Im anxious that I won't get any replys to this post.
 
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Innordinate

MyPTSD Pro
I can relate to most of what u wrote.
sucks. all that stuff, i mean, being anxious basically all the time about seemingly stupid things nobody else seems to stress about.

there's others that do too.

sorry, i got nothing encouraging to write just.... yeh, same.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
I can relate to most of what u wrote.
sucks. all that stuff, i mean, being anxious basically all the time about seemingly stupid things nobody else seems to stress about.

there's others that do too.

sorry, i got nothing encouraging to write just.... yeh, same.
That's ok, thank you for replying. Xx
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Yeah, I have this too. I don’t even know what relaxation means. I armour around my muscles and it causes a lot of pain.

I'm anxious about almost everything
I have this too and have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It’s often co-morbid with C/PTSD. A small cut quickly becomes a terminal cancer in my head and I have all sorts of catastrophizing scenarios where I’ll die in this way or that way or having paranoid trips about things I did or what people said. Often I’m not conscious of being hypervigilant but I realize that every time something catches me off-guard I’ll jump to the roof making a noise (to the great joy of my friends as I tend to make a noise that apparently is really funny 🙄… I mean that’s fine, at least someone is having fun).

It used to be much worse than it’s now. Perhaps, thanks to the fact it was so ridiculously unrealistic, I could tell myself it wasn’t really likely to have a terminal cancer at age 15. And so and so. So for every thought of that sort I had a counter thought. It’s f*cking exhausting, and actually it sort of freezes you further, that’s how I managed to avoid medical issues for years and it’s still a major struggle to get myself to go to the vet the doctor.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I go over and over for days before in my head what ill say on the phone/in person.
Oh, I've done this for as long as I can remember. It *has* gotten better over the years, but it's still a thing.

Does anything help you with your anxiety? I also used to get constant headaches, neck pain, and pain in other places. I still am tense most of the time (although it's usually hard to identify), but I did finally get rid of most of my headaches and at least some of my neck pain.

One of the things that was hard for me was identifying the anxiety when it was happening, mostly because it seemed to be my norm. when I started paying attention, though, I was able to notice very subtle differences between tense and not-tense and hypervigilant and not. So, headaches were not just headaches, but...oh, I got tense, which caused my headache because xyz.

That was all really helpful in finding the things that would help, at the appropriate times.
 

anthony

Founder
I'm always on alert waiting to fight, freeze or flee. I'm a freezer, I only relax at bedtime.
Based on your title, you said "I Can NEVER Relax." Emphasing the never. Yet you said you do relax at bedtime. So do you NEVER relax or do you relax SOMETIMES?

My point is your thinking is very normally PTSD skewed. You're convincing yourself of the negative, yet you do know the truth, which contains positives, ie. you relax at bedtime.

What you need to be working on to get beyond your thinking, is: Primary cognitive distortions (negative thinking styles)

Start removing the all or nothing thinking first. Get a grip on what is good for you, what is negative for you. Then work on how to change the negative thinking / actions towards more healthy options that stop you from having physical symptoms due to mental thinking and hypervigilance.
I can never do anything right.
See what I mean? I'm 100% certain you do plenty of things right, and you know it. You're stuck in the negative thinking style, that is your starting place to work on improving your life at this time. Start to master that before you start tackling trauma. Not lying either, just normal PTSD skewed thinking due to trauma. Very fixable.
 

Cheryl42

New Here
I'm always on alert waiting to fight, freeze or flee. I'm a freezer, I only relax at bedtime. Even during the day if im doing something I enjoy, im keeping a close eye on and a open ear for the worst. I'm constantly tired with constant headaches and neck pain. I'm anxious about almost everything, from the weather to saying the wrong thing. I
I go over and over for days before in my head what ill say on the phone/in person. I don't want to sound like an idiot or a liar. I'm even going over in my head how to say things here. I'm even anxious to post here in case I post something on the wrong thread. I can never do anything right.
*Edited* even now Im anxious that I won't get any replys to this post.
I also suffer with constant Hypervigilance so much so that I can't go to stores, church, out to eat or even wait in the lobby at my therapist office if there are people in there. It makes life difficult and exhausting. Working on it with my psychologist and about to start some meds to help even me out. I am told that with time and therapy and meds it can get better.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Is it a "normal" thing to think maybe im overthinking it? Maybe it's not a bad as I remember. I can say for certain im a victim of childhood mental and verbal abuse, trauma and neglect, there's no doubt in my mind about that but to be diagnosed with anything is scary to me.
 
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