open eyes
Confident
Diagnosed with CPTSD due to many sexual abuses, molestations & a sexual assault.
I noticed my habit recently: I defend people who treat me wrong. I've been doing it since I was abused for the first time at age 6.
-I constantly told myself that it was okay what they had done to me, & when I confronted them a few months ago- I couldn't even bring myself to be angry. I felt bad for THEM. I started crying over the phone with one of them, not because of what I had been through the past 10 years, but because I was upset that they felt guilty.
-I was bullied through elementary school by a girl, but when my mother went found out, I started telling her not to do anything about it because I didn't want this girl to get in trouble. Even though she was so mean that I had stopped going to school & was becoming depressed.
-My ex-boyfriend was emotionally abusive to me, but I didn't even realize how bad he had really treated me until after I broke up with him. For one, he accused me of lying about being sexually abused, & it triggered me into a meltdown so bad that I had to go inpatient...
This whole mess occurred to me today because I caught myself defending him when one of my friends called him a scumbag.
There have been many other smaller instances where I've done this but these were a few of the ones that are vivid in my mind now. Why do I feel guilty for people who mistreat me? Does this even make sense? Any comments would be appreciated!
I noticed my habit recently: I defend people who treat me wrong. I've been doing it since I was abused for the first time at age 6.
-I constantly told myself that it was okay what they had done to me, & when I confronted them a few months ago- I couldn't even bring myself to be angry. I felt bad for THEM. I started crying over the phone with one of them, not because of what I had been through the past 10 years, but because I was upset that they felt guilty.
-I was bullied through elementary school by a girl, but when my mother went found out, I started telling her not to do anything about it because I didn't want this girl to get in trouble. Even though she was so mean that I had stopped going to school & was becoming depressed.
-My ex-boyfriend was emotionally abusive to me, but I didn't even realize how bad he had really treated me until after I broke up with him. For one, he accused me of lying about being sexually abused, & it triggered me into a meltdown so bad that I had to go inpatient...
This whole mess occurred to me today because I caught myself defending him when one of my friends called him a scumbag.
There have been many other smaller instances where I've done this but these were a few of the ones that are vivid in my mind now. Why do I feel guilty for people who mistreat me? Does this even make sense? Any comments would be appreciated!