I Don't Feel Ready - Returning To Work

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Well today is my first day going back to work. Woke up four times with night terrors. Can't remeber the dreams sure as hell remember being jolted awake with major panick attacks. :frown: Hubby woken up by them too. :poke:. I am so scared I won't be able to keep it under control. I got to try though. They wants me to speak with nurse when I get back today. Not good, I call it company collecting amo for dismissal every time. Not the nurses fault of course she is just doing her job. I was so confident yesterdy. Made sure hubby woke me up extra early so the pills would start working their majic before I go in.
I let you guys know how the day went. Heading for the shower and finding all my work equip before I get picked up. Ahhhhh.
I made it through the day. Yes I got the wise cracks I expected, I heard the rumors. They let me dog it pretty much. By lunch my legs were so sore from walking I almost went home early, but I toughed it out. I am emotionally exhausted but I only panicked the first two hours. Shaking and the heart palps, but I didn't go out of my way to avoid people. I just concentrated on doing my job :walking: and made it through the day.
Hubby drove us home and idiot molester was already here at the barn. He was using hubbys david brown to move some of his stuff out. Hubby none to impressed. This idiot just doesn't get the message. Stay out unless hubby is here. Hubby is over at he barn now. I am so glad he is here. :kiss: I would of freaked if he hadn't of been. Just seeing idiot makes me want to binge. I have learned my lesson though and I will cope wit the emotion without the binge. Wish me luck.
Congrats on making it through your first day back at work! Sometimes just making it to the end of the work day seems like the hardest thing to do. When I feel rough at work, I try to break my day up into ten minute segments. As in 'I'm just going to work on getting through the next ten minutes and nothing more'. Sometimes it's moment to moment. But you can do it!!!

Congrats, again!!! :claps:
Well done Joanna, great steps forward for you. Working with PTSD is no easy feat, but if done and learnt control, it is achievable. You are fortunate that you are able to cope with work surroundings and stressors, and that is a good sign for you. Well done...
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