I've been feeling extremely sad all day. I don't know what the exact reason is but I can only take a guess I think I may have something like adjustment disorder. I am quitting my current job and getting a new one I always hated the one I have I guess I am just nervous. They let me know when I start but I am worried that they may change their minds or I just won't get it.
I am trying hard not to cry and I work tonight. My sister was talking too much to be ealier and I was getting annoyed because I wanted to be left alone. I didn't eat much today and all I want to do is stay at home all day but this week is my last week.
I have an appointment with my psych and I will start looking for someone for therapy I guess. I have been having a hard time dealing with my severe depression ror a while and job badly affects my mental health. I just want everything to stop.
I had countless thoughts of suicide and even came close to planning it more than once. My doctor would probably want me in a hospital for a few days but I don't think I want that. I stopped taking my last meds because I felt like it wasn't working I am wondering if I should've kept taking it, I think I only took it for a few months or at least a month. Should I even bother with therapy? I think I am just overwhelmed by life and burned out by my job.
Understand. Sitting here trying to think of a good excuse to cancel therapy today. It's raining. It's windy. Can't decide what to wear. Just not up to it. Can't lie to therapist so car trouble is out.
Just last week things were great. Pig Pen's cloud over my head.
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