this is one of the ? ? ? symptoms? ? ? which still lingers for me. my life and resources are far more balanced, but that "exchange day" ritual where i take money from one source only to give it to another is? ? ? worthy of a song. "exchange day blues." nope. it's not on the digital internet. it's just a ditty i sing to channel the emotions attached.The moment I was paid and dealt with the immediate stuff(landlord) it's like I got worse- but not exactly. I just finally let myself feel it all I guess.
the good news i have found in **just** letting myself feel it all is that the ALL gets smaller without the bloating of repression. these days i can channel the emotions of the exchange day blues in a single chorus of the exchange day blues. it's so much easier to get on with business when i can let myself feal the negatives and leave them behind rather than "sucking it up" and "getting my shit together."
for what it's worth
when i get stressed out, my colon goes wonky with nasty side effects, such as diarrhea. i went literal on that "getting my shit together" cliche. when i have my literal shit together, my metaphorical shit goes far, far smoother. i went literal on my "holy shit," too. one of life's greater blessings is that smooth, intact movement of yesterday's leftovers.
am i now guilty of tmi (too much information)?