I feel as if everything’s a giant mess

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Vittorio

I don’t really know if this is the right place to share this but I’m curious to see if others feel the same.

I definitely have CPTSD and have been diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder. In the past 6 weeks, I’ve been triggered into an emotional flashback by a job change which I found overwhelming.

Although I’ve managed to somehow come out the other end, I feel as if I don’t recognise my surroundings anymore.

Everything’s the same and all is “normal” and yet everything feels different, strange and weird. Many times I’ve tried to pin it down but I don’t understand where this feeling comes from: it’s a sense of unease, as if I’ve stepped in an incredibly messy room and I can’t find my way around things.

And then I exhaust myself thinking about it and I daydream whether I will ever feel “at home”.

If anyone has any ideas it would be great to hear your experience.

Thank you!
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Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
It's probably dissociation

There are grounding exercises to ease or even make it pass. I'd it doesn't pass make sure to always remind yourself that present is real

Derealisation and depersonalization are two way to dissociate
 

Sideways

Moderator
More likely derealisation: things/the world around you doesn't seem real.

Depersonalisation is when "I don't feel real".

A good way to combat dissociation is typically to engage your grounding techniques. It can be harder to get them to work if you're still practicing how to get grounded in the middle of a dissociative episode, but it's worth a go.

There's lots of ways to ground, but a lot of people use their senses. So doing things that engage your sense of smell, touch, taste. Things that are also calming can be particularly helpful since dissociation is often a stress response.

One of my faves is giving myself a good foot run with nice smelling lotion - it's calming, feels good, and I can really get my brain to focus on the smell and the feels.
 
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Vittorio

Thank you so much for all your replies - I totally agree and since I posted this I happened to read more about my trauma response (flight/freeze) and, indeed, dissociation/derealisation. In those moments, I feel as if I’m here but not really here. Everything looks as it should but it feels foreign, messy, uncomfortable. It feels like I’m trapped and my true self is on another plane of existence entirely.
Indeed, grounding exercises and mindfulness are the way forward.
Thanks again!
 
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