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I Feel Like a Complainer - Is My Trauma Really That Bad?

Discussion in 'General' started by 9Lives, Jun 7, 2007.

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  1. 9Lives

    9Lives Active Member

    Okay, so I'm trying to get everything off my chest & out of my mind (listing a few things at a time in my diary) but, I am getting so angry at myself because I sound so Whiny! The things that happened to me aren't even close to some of your traumatic events (wars, killings, burnt babies, etc.). I just feel so stupid and weak!

    Anyhow, logically I know people react to things differently so, I'll continue to try & help myself by going through each event & facing it to the end but, I still can't help feeling like a big baby and like my husband says, "Stop living in the past and just get over it already!"

    So, I am trying. I asked one of my counselors if listing everything out is really beneficial & he said it could be but, it could also make things worse since I'm a bit obsessive. (?) Not sure what he meant by that or how it relates so I hope I'm not wasting my time or doing more damage!

    Well, take care & try & have a good day.
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  3. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    Well it doesn't really matter what happened to you or how serious/unserious you think it is, if it caused your PTSD then it's serious. I've compared myself to others a lot, but it's wrong to do so. It's like concentrating on something that doesn't matter rather than on healing yourself. I still do it quite a bit, I think it's fairly common. But try to fight it, because we are all equal here.

    I'm not a therapist but personally I have found it helpful to write out as much as I can. The only way I can see it would be obsessive was if you did it all day long for several days with no break and neglected taking care of yourself in other ways. I don't think you're doing more damage by writing or talking about your trauma, that's how you heal, at least that's my opinion.
  4. 9Lives

    9Lives Active Member

    thanks batgirl

    Ugh! You're right, I need to stop comparing! Well, I'll continue on with my diary then. Thanks for the reality slap :)
  5. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

    9Lives... I often do the "i must not whine" or "its not that bad" thing. Pretty much have to fight that every time I ever type or say or feel anything. But I agree, I find that typing stuff out helps break through those thoughts and just get at the problem so you can look at it properly. I'm still struggling with that somewhat myself, but try not to let thoughts like these get in the way... they only make you feel worse. They don't deal with anything. And theyre not relevant... what's relevant is the impact.
  6. Jet

    Jet Well-Known Member

    I do that all the time. I have been through some crap in my life and it really was that bad. Yet I often find that I feel like a whiner or like I am feeling sorry for myself. And I can't count the times I have said...but it wasn't even close to so and so's life...at least blah blah blah never happened to me.

    Personally I think it is just another way to make myself feel like crap. I mean, come on...if our roles were reversed...if I went through your trauma and you went through mine would either or any of us look at the other and say...nope not enough, you didn't hurt enough, see enough, feel enough or bleed enough for it to matter. Get over it. Not freakin likely in my opinion.

  7. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Trust me when I say, if you get worse from it, its likely better for you, because it means your provoking your mind to face facts about your traumatic events... not try and step around them, hide from them, put them under a rock, etc etc... you will get worse in order to get better, trust me on that one.
  8. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP

    hi 9Lives...I seem to alternate between feeling sorry for myself and being pissed of at myself because it really wasn't as bad as it could've been or as bad as what other people face...i just can't seem to get it...i find that i can;'t calm down enough to write things down or if i do, i end up immediately ripping it to shreds...but from what i've read on this forum, a lot o f people findit helpful to write things down. so, i say go fo rit. keep doing it and hopefully you'll feel better :) take care
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