Hi all,
I'm Ellie, 23F. I was hoping to try and meet someone who has had a similar experience to mine.
When I was 15 I met a 21yo man online who proceeded to groom me and mentally/emotionally manipulate and abuse me for the next two years. His grooming led to a snowball effect that ended up with me engaged at 19 to a different man who did all but beat me and forcibly imprison me. At 20 I broke things off and it's been a long, hard road of recovery.
Overall I'm doing okay now. I'm halfway through school, I've repaired relations with my parents, and I have a healthy, happy relationship with a stable man who treats me well.
All that being said, I still have nightmares and flashbacks to my groomer. Not my ex-fiance, who raped me and controlled my life, but the man who I only ever spoke to online. The things he said and did scarred me, even though it was all online. Because he never physically touched or physically harmed me I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. I feel like I don't deserve to be traumatized by what he did. Logically I know this isn't correct, and I have a concrete PTSD diagnosis, but I still feel like I don't deserve to be traumatized.
Has anyone else felt this way or experienced something similar?
I'm Ellie, 23F. I was hoping to try and meet someone who has had a similar experience to mine.
When I was 15 I met a 21yo man online who proceeded to groom me and mentally/emotionally manipulate and abuse me for the next two years. His grooming led to a snowball effect that ended up with me engaged at 19 to a different man who did all but beat me and forcibly imprison me. At 20 I broke things off and it's been a long, hard road of recovery.
Overall I'm doing okay now. I'm halfway through school, I've repaired relations with my parents, and I have a healthy, happy relationship with a stable man who treats me well.
All that being said, I still have nightmares and flashbacks to my groomer. Not my ex-fiance, who raped me and controlled my life, but the man who I only ever spoke to online. The things he said and did scarred me, even though it was all online. Because he never physically touched or physically harmed me I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. I feel like I don't deserve to be traumatized by what he did. Logically I know this isn't correct, and I have a concrete PTSD diagnosis, but I still feel like I don't deserve to be traumatized.
Has anyone else felt this way or experienced something similar?