I give myself one day to vent everything...What would you do?

Charmd1

Learning
Every year I give myself a day.

One single day to fully immerse myself in everything negative that I usually spend every other day of the year repressing or healing through Meds or therapy or whatever coping mechanism seems to be working at the time. I always focus on how to get better and be better and make my life worth living.
But this one day a year......

I call this day Happy Regret Day.

Its a single day set aside to grieve, hate, rage, cry, scream or what ever I feel I have to let out. Allowed Without Guilt.

All the hurt and pain and anger that most days I cant even form into words without metaphorically describing it, even then to leave anyone who has the bad luck to hear confused and deeply concerned for my mental health.

Sometimes I get drunk, sometimes I scream in my car, sometimes I break things, sometimes I cry. I go with wherever opening the flood gates of this particular dam takes me.

Today is my very special day (side note I should have booked the day off work)

SIDE NOTE THERE ARE RULES TO FOLLOW.
-No harming others
-No Harming myself
-No doing anything that will get me a criminal record
-No breaking anything i cant afford to replace.

My special cocktail of repressed emotions this year is ANGRY.. I can feel the rage building into a ball deep in my stomach.

On days like today I wish I could go back in time to the events that caused this horrible feeling and give it back to those that gifted it to me.
Good thing time travel is not a possibility right..

What would you do that wont have lasting consequences when you are alone in the world to help vent this feeling?

I don't think screaming at B grade movies is going to cut it tonight.....

Sorry for the ramble..
 
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Charmd1

Learning
Sounds like a good idea. Do you think once a year is enough? Sounds like it’s building up.
I actually really enjoy it. I treat it like an anniversary. And i usually try to take a healthy approach to my self care... But today... this is the day where I give myself permission to be unhealthy about it.. But as its a deliberate plan to vent in an unhealthy way once a year is good for me :)
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
Sounds like you have a system that works for you. I wonder who told you that
sometimes I scream in my car, sometimes I break things, sometimes I cry. I go with wherever opening the flood gates of this particular dam takes me.
👆These are unhealthy? My T encouraged me to do all of those and more as often as needed.
usually try to take a healthy approach to my self care... But today...
What does the usual healthy way look like?
 

Charmd1

Learning
Sounds like you have a system that works for you. I wonder who told you that

👆These are unhealthy? My T encouraged me to do all of those and more as often as needed.

What does the usual healthy way look like?
For me a healthy way is making sure I get enough sleep and time outs if needed So on and so fourth. I do cry pretty much daily. Also one of my irrational needs is an iron clad control of my emotions and my tendency to be explosively reactive. Which one of my biggest fears is slipping back into trauma based parenting. That’s why emotionally today is so important it’s a form of self permission to be angry. To rage in a safe environment. I have balance issues and I am afraid of my negative emotions because sometimes the rabbit hole is too tempting to explore. And there’s always the fear that if I start screaming I might never stop.

This sounds weird but I think I would get naked and smear mud and ash all over my body and belt out songs of fury, around a fire if possible—burn shit. 👹
I love this!!!! Lol my original plan was to empty out the house take some gummies get right out of my head and play some form of video game with loud death metal playing while I scream obscenities at the other players who can’t hear me because I won’t mic up lol
 

Tinyflame

MyPTSD Pro
I don't know if this counts, but my 'venting' if it were would be in silence, alone or in a safe place, and a dialogue in my head. It would involve giving myself permission. Though tbh I never plan it, it just comes upon me. Like last Christmas day I cried a long time, especially about my sister who died. Don't think I could schedule it.

Tbh I actually feel better though if I intentionally try to turn something lousy in to something happier. A new connotation.

But nothing wrong with anger/ venting/ breaking old dishes/ screaming in your car etc. etc.. 😊
 

Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
This sounds weird but I think I would get naked and smear mud and ash all over my body and belt out songs of fury, around a fire if possible—burn shit. 👹
I don't think that sounds weird at all, I like the idea of burning things, I even mentioned that to my therapist several months ago. It's what I'd have liked to have done in my teens, but I hid away instead.
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
I guess dedicate a day where I have no permission to shittalk me and congrat me for everything I did right would be a good idea.

But BECAUSE it is I won't do that.

"Rambling about the reasons i don't deserve feeling good going on in my head"
 
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