I got out!


Thanks @intothelight I'm enjoying doing it now, and pleased that it is reducing the fear too. It's helped me stop expecting to be perfect at it.

Also is good to take my mind off the other women.

I'm ok thanks @Survivor3 🙂 away for the weekend, expecting to be away from the refuge most weekends while I get bits and pieces of my old flat sorted out. Staying with an old friend, she has come with me to my old flat, I'm sorting out a bit of my stuff.
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Can't put this into words. Shall do a word puke- sorry for gross

Around people now after wasn't much for long time. S'what I want but is scary business. Re discovering ways in which I always had difficulties getting on with fellow himans, as well as more positive stuff.

Anxiety grows when you avoid stuff but also when you face it?

It's true I always felt like a hexagon in a square peg. Some of it is growing up neglected. But there's other factors roo like abuse

My nature too? Being bit serious / nerdy?

Also kind of I feel like I never quite learned how to get on with others the way I might have if things had been different.

Keep thinking about it, I worry I get things wrong, worry about gaffs and not knowing I've done them, also hurting people.

And too earning the disaproval of others whether I derserve it or not.

An unpleasant rabbit hole to fall down. But I do want to find some answers for myself. Like literally do those bits of growing up I never got yo do.


I've been doing an exercise of trying to sketch the same drawing by Rossetti repeatedly, and quickly in order to learn how to sketch quickly. I'm still not getting a likeness, but I am gradually beginning to do a better job on the proportions. Neck still too long :D

But this is my latest attempt, it's one of the longer ones, lots of 2, 3 & 4 minute tries I've had too.

Feels oddly positive to have gotten over needing to be good. Seems a fair deal if I get to learn more and not stay stuck with a fear of art.


Here is the original ~ quite different to mine.
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