Lots of sad thoughts. I’m fed up of treading water.
I'm wondering, is this the first communication you've had since you left? (Forgive me if you've written about this and I missed it).I just asked Mr (messaging) why does he think I always have a bad spell after a good time.
NoI'm wondering, is this the first communication you've had since you left? (Forgive me if you've written about this and I missed it).
HelpfulAnd, do you think connecting with him is helpful, harmful, or neutral for you, with where you're at right now?
Thanks. I don't know what that looks like. For me trying to interrupt the dip results in fightback and a much longer dip. What kinds of things do you think would help?It's one of those situations where thinking about it won't do much of anything - but having an action plan (and using it) will probably help a lot.
Well - I'm (lately) into trying to turn to behaviors, actions. Doing instead of thinking. So, recently I had a pretty productive day - it was actually leaps and bounds away from where I've been hovering, lately - and at the end of that pretty productive day, I was actually feeling fairly good. The next day, I was absolutely exhausted physically and pretty flatlined mentally. It makes sense that I was tired - but telling myself that it made sense didn't help, I still felt tired. And that connected to feeling emotionally low, like I was getting proof that I don't have it in me to create lasting change (something like that).What kinds of things do you think would help?
That's when (I'm suggesting) you immediately shift to an action - to doing something you've planned for, a behavior/action that you know can be a positive for you instead of a negative.As soon as I notice I'm doing well, in an instant, things change, and fairly proportionally to how well things were going.
Are the things I listed the right kind of things?You won't feel like doing it - but if you can commit to making that one choice, doing that specific thing you planned to do - it will interfere with the urge to do the self-sabotage.
It'll also (hopefully) be something that will help move your focus away from those negative automatic focus - and moving your focus away from them is not the same as shoving them down, that's why this can be an effective strategy. It's also not the same as trying to "think different thoughts", which is often (I'm learning) not that effective, when dealing with automatic behaviors.