I got out!

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
It was nice to have a few days here of being able to have a couple of normal conversations. It feels cruel to go back to being the outcast.
Remember- you are living with other people who have Ben through stuff and that stuff makes us a little dysfunctional. If you were with functional people the situation would likely be different.

Are you forecast snow soon? I bet snow and watercolour would be fun to experiment with?

( I had half a coffee today and had to throw it away - it was ok but I seem to have lost tolerance 🥲)
 

Teasel

Not Active
If you were with functional people the situation would likely be different.
Honestly, it would probably be worse. Increased judgement and not understanding where I'm coming from. I don't really have a single patch of my life where I'm not repeatedly hurt by being around people. I think that's part of why I'm struggling to see a future I can bear. I have no past good years to help me think they are possible again.
Are you forecast snow soon? I bet snow and watercolour would be fun to experiment with?
I don't know, it sounds lovely thanks.

Tongue tied.
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Honestly, it would probably be worse. Increased judgement and not understanding where I'm coming from. I don't really have a single patch of my life where I'm not repeatedly hurt by being around people. I think that's part of why I'm struggling to see a future I can bear. I have no past good years to help me think they are possible again.

I don't know, it sounds lovely thanks.

Tongue tied.
See - I don’t think it would be worse. Sure - people have no experience- but healthy people hopefully can still use empathy and also people whose attachments lean more towards stable ( I think many, many people are on a scale but - close to stable) aren’t interpreting your trauma shaped behaviour as being about them . I think people not forced to over analyse by repeated relational trauma are … and I don’t mean this in any way derogatorily- more worried about themselves than those of us who have learnt to read a room and analyse and predict others’ behaviour and reactions are . While our focus is scattered - they are maybe thinking about their uncomfortable knickers or if we are looking at their cold sore or something while we are thinking about how what we are doing/ saying / where we are in the room impacting them and if we are doing the right and/ or safe thing .

In any case - thst doesn’t help you now I guess - I’m sorry.


I think maybe I’m trying to say - don’t take sole responsibility for the situations you have found yourself being hurt in . I think unarmed with tools and to recover from relational trauma people are more likely to experience repeat incidents. The more this happens the deeper it seems but it’s the same wounds - it’s not actually the person innately - its something that was hurt after they were born. I believe this can be bettered. I think it’s hard and that fighting it is long and tiring ( and expensive with a private T) but - I believe it’s possible.


We here are people. I hope you don’t feel we have hurt you too badly . I think you are great.
 

Teasel

Not Active
Thanks so much @Mee

I think maybe I’m trying to say - don’t take sole responsibility for the situations you have found yourself being hurt in .
I don't think I am. For sure I think some of the problem is down to others sometimes too.
think unarmed with tools and to recover from relational trauma people are more likely to experience repeat incidents. The more this happens the deeper it seems but it’s the same wounds - it’s not actually the person innately - its something that was hurt after they were born. I believe this can be bettered. I think it’s hard and that fighting it is long and tiring ( and expensive with a private T) but - I believe it’s possible.
I'm not sure what you are saying here, is it referring to me having no tools and experiencing repeat incidents?

And it's not who innately, me?

Feeling a little bit toxic and so a bit avoidant too. But 9n the bright side, avoiding stuff means I feel better than I did.

Worried that I've annoyed people or made a faux pas.
 
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