I got out!

[Teasel]

Thanks both, and I’m really glad I didn’t worry you

 

[Teasel]

I went to an autistic social, made myself go, stood there and no one said anything to me so I got anxious and left. On the way back to the car I told myself I'd regret not trying again. So went back inside and told one of the people running it how anxious I was and they seemed uncomfortable, I couldn't bear it, left crying.

Been feeling particularly shame filled today even before I went.

So far all attempts to socialise with other autistics have gone really badly.

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm so sorry that happened @Teasel. And so brave of you to go back in to try again, even if it didn't pan out the way you needed. I find what you did impressive.

So far all attempts to socialise with other autistics have gone really badly.

Wonder if there is a way to make that better if you want to try again at some point? Would it help to maybe email or phone the organiser and ask to meet a few minutes earlier and 'buddy' up with them or someone? Or something else that might help?

 

[Lumos]

You were really brave going @Teasel, but no wonder you felt anxious. I agree with @Movingforward10 's idea. Also, some areas in the UK have mental health organisations that could offer to have someone go along with you to such events, maybe that could make it less anxiety-provoking? Was the social for general socialising only or did they have a leader / activities you could do there? Sometimes it's better if there's something like an activity to focus on rather than just feeling pressure to talk. Maybe other people felt anxious at it too?

 

[AnD]

Hugs @Teasel, you tried

 

[Survivor3]

That's really brave that you went T. The group leader should be more accommodating and put you at ease. Also you weren't feeling well before you went. Try again next time and maybe contact them before hand and say your new.

 

[Teasel]

Would it help to maybe email or phone the organiser and ask to meet a few minutes earlier and 'buddy' up with them or someone? Or something else that might help?

Perhaps, I could try next month. Though zi did contact them before going today. I hadn't asked about going early and I certainly didn't arrive early.

Also, some areas in the UK have mental health organisations that could offer to have someone go along with you to such events, maybe that could make it less anxiety-provoking?

I was hooked up with rethink, I'd been told how amazing thry used to be, when she came to see me it seemed all they offered was signposting to other organisations, and I'm pretty hood at googling stuff myself. When I asked do you only signpost to other organisations she said yes. And I went and got upset

They do send me details of online meetups about every month, I've not gone to any of them yet. ADHD brain makes remembering / organising myself difficult.

Was the social for general socialising only or did they have a leader / activities you could do there? Sometimes it's better if there's something like an activity to focus on rather than just feeling pressure to talk. Maybe other people felt anxious at it too?

Socialising I think, activities do make it easier yes.

The group leader should be more accommodating and put you at ease. Also you weren't feeling well before you went. Try again next time and maybe contact them before hand and say your new.

He's only a human being too though. This charity, is 2 dad's, they aren't paid to do this, they don't owe me a thing, they got my my autistic therapist, I think they're pretty amazing already.

 

[Teasel]

Just wanted to come back and say thanks everyone for being sweet, means a lot actually ❤

 

[Teasel]

Today was better. An online autistic zoom thingamejig. Not a social but more a structured thing. Was nice.

I has a successful (fairly) social experience under me belt

You could call it nodding therapy.
Whereby you be on a zoom call and get to nod at what others say a lot because you relate to it too because they are like you.

 

[ladee]

Ive been a many 12 step Meetings like that T. Especially at the beginning. Where I would nod because I understood what they were talking about.

A good beginning.

And I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for going to that social meeting. AND going back in and giving yourself another chance. That was amazingly brave!!! Hope saying I'm proud of you doesn't make you uncomfortable. But I am!!! Gentle hugs T!!

 

[Lumos]

Today was better. An online autistic zoom thingamejig. Not a social but more a structured thing. Was nice.

I has a successful (fairly) social experience under me belt

You could call it nodding therapy.
Whereby you be on a zoom call and get to nod at what others say a lot because you relate to it too because they are like you.

Really pleased to hear this @Teasel

 

[elephant]

I went to an autistic social, made myself go, stood there and no one said anything to me so I got anxious and left. On the way back to the car I told myself I'd regret not trying again. So went back inside and told one of the people running it how anxious I was and they seemed uncomfortable, I couldn't bear it, left crying.

Been feeling particularly shame filled today even before I went.

So far all attempts to socialise with other autistics have gone really badly.

A little late but I agree with the others! You were really brave!

Just wanted to say that you're not the only one. I'm autistic and I also find it hard to socialise with other autistics. I have not yet figured out why, but all my attempts to socialise have gone (more or less) bad.

Don't know what else to say, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone..