I had a “non traumatic Fb” that contained previously unknown content

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
200p So I was driving one day last week and flashed on a “Fb fake turkey” - my Gm and I are sitting down at the krichen table about to have a “diet meal” since we both had weight problems and used to go on crash/fad diets together.

this is a memory that wasn’t part of my everyday memory but wasn’t considered by me to be a trauma memory. How little I knew.


i see us sitting there eating and I feel super guilty bc all diets require “real” turkey to be eaten not “fake turkey. I want tot elk her but I know I will lose weight regardless. So I don’t say anything.

I feel utter love for her. And me - in the present day - feels the feeling of love for her and I am so happy! Finally a good feeling!

I continue to drive then I rmebee that I do tel her we should not be eating “fake turkey” we should be eating “real” turkey then I re-Remeber how much she hated turkey! Lmfao and when I told her she said “no” lol

~15 mins later
It hurts me to see and feel how much I loved her then and how much it hurts me NOW IN THE PRESENT DAY KNOWING what was going on.

1017p I am standing there helping MY CLIENT go to bed when it hits me! It wasn’t that I superimposed my newfound knowledge I have in the present day onto this old memory of me eating fake turkey with my Gm! this is why I felt so numb back then - it was blocking what had happened to me and how I felt about my Gm back then!!!


I feel like I am trying to say Something but I can’t say it! Somehow it won’t come out. (I get this feeling frequently while trying to take about a Fb)
———-

I’ve read differ therapies saying that when you are experiencing a FB to add some positive thought into the FB.


I thought, “that’s not possible” (since) my fbs are basically “intrusive thoughts” in polaroid and/or video form. It would be like superimposing myself into a movie like “terminator” while I was watching it; stopping the FB and rewinding it.

I thought, no biggie I will see what happens maybe I am not to “that stage yet”.
I am positive that the feeling of disappointment towards my Gm was what the NUMBNESS WAS HIDING: the awful truth. I was able to function with my abusers acting as if they were good. It is sheer genius of the human brain to be abe to conceal the truth right in front of your face!
 

joeylittle

Administrator
flashed on a “Fb fake turkey”
I don't think this is what is meant by a flashback.

A flashback is a sudden memory of a traumatic incident. The memory can take the form of sounds, or physical sensations, or visualization, or smells, strong emotions...what makes it a flashback is that it comes on suddenly - in a "flash" - and it takes a person "back", to an event as it has occurred.

Flashbacks can't be of things that haven't happened - and, flashbacks aren't merely memories - even very sudden memories that create strong physical or emotional reactions aren't "flashbacks", in PTSD terms, unless they are tied directly to a trauma event.

I'm not saying you didn't have a memory from the past. Clearly, you remembered something from your past, and then you came to an understanding about what may have been driving your underlying feelings about the memory. But this is not a flashback - it's a memory, and reflection, and understanding.

Does that make sense?

Another way of saying it - again, as far as PTSD is concerned - there's no such thing as a non-traumatic flashback. They are, by definition, traumatic.
 

Lisamarieaxo

Learning
200p So I was driving one day last week and flashed on a “Fb fake turkey” - my Gm and I are sitting down at the krichen table about to have a “diet meal” since we both had weight problems and used to go on crash/fad diets together.

this is a memory that wasn’t part of my everyday memory but wasn’t considered by me to be a trauma memory. How little I knew.


i see us sitting there eating and I feel super guilty bc all diets require “real” turkey to be eaten not “fake turkey. I want tot elk her but I know I will lose weight regardless. So I don’t say anything.

I feel utter love for her. And me - in the present day - feels the feeling of love for her and I am so happy! Finally a good feeling!

I continue to drive then I rmebee that I do tel her we should not be eating “fake turkey” we should be eating “real” turkey then I re-Remeber how much she hated turkey! Lmfao and when I told her she said “no” lol

~15 mins later
It hurts me to see and feel how much I loved her then and how much it hurts me NOW IN THE PRESENT DAY KNOWING what was going on.

1017p I am standing there helping MY CLIENT go to bed when it hits me! It wasn’t that I superimposed my newfound knowledge I have in the present day onto this old memory of me eating fake turkey with my Gm! this is why I felt so numb back then - it was blocking what had happened to me and how I felt about my Gm back then!!!


I feel like I am trying to say Something but I can’t say it! Somehow it won’t come out. (I get this feeling frequently while trying to take about a Fb)
———-

I’ve read differ therapies saying that when you are experiencing a FB to add some positive thought into the FB.


I thought, “that’s not possible” (since) my fbs are basically “intrusive thoughts” in polaroid and/or video form. It would be like superimposing myself into a movie like “terminator” while I was watching it; stopping the FB and rewinding it.

I thought, no biggie I will see what happens maybe I am not to “that stage yet”.
I am positive that the feeling of disappointment towards my Gm was what the NUMBNESS WAS HIDING: the awful truth. I was able to function with my abusers acting as if they were good. It is sheer genius of the human brain to be abe to conceal the truth right in front of your face!
Thank you for sharing this 💜
 

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
I don't think this is what is meant by a flashback.

A flashback is a sudden memory of a traumatic incident. The memory can take the form of sounds, or physical sensations, or visualization, or smells, strong emotions...what makes it a flashback is that it comes on suddenly - in a "flash" - and it takes a person "back", to an event as it has occurred.

Flashbacks can't be of things that haven't happened - and, flashbacks aren't merely memories - even very sudden memories that create strong physical or emotional reactions aren't "flashbacks", in PTSD terms, unless they are tied directly to a trauma event.

I'm not saying you didn't have a memory from the past. Clearly, you remembered something from your past, and then you came to an understanding about what may have been driving your underlying feelings about the memory. But this is not a flashback - it's a memory, and reflection, and understanding.

Does that make sense?

Another way of saying it - again, as far as PTSD is concerned - there's no such thing as a non-traumatic flashback. They are, by definition, traumatic.
Ok I get what you are saying but it seems like before I have an “official Fb” I have “build up” memories that allow the “real Fb” to come up.

I consider them to be all apart of “the Fb”.
 
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