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i have extreme abnormal memory loss, i feel like mine is a lot worse than most people's who have ptsd

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hope4us

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i know memory loss can be a symptom of ptsd for some people, but mine is like to the point where i cant even funtion, and i feel like im losing my mind. i forget major things, like somoene sent me a lot of money and i completely forgot about it for a few hours until something reminded me of it. and i drove my car without insurance cause i completely forgot that my policy got cancelled. and i thought that was a big enough deal to me that i would remember it but i forgot and drove my car. i would never do that intentionally because i dont want to deal with the risks that come with it, its a big deal to me. and i had things planned with people when i got back to my apartment today, i was thinking about it on the way home and reminding myself to not forget about it but when i got home i forgot about it for 2 hours until i checked my phone and saw all these messages. i even try writing things down on a board that sits in front of my face all day but as soon as i start to do soemthing i get distracted by something else and than by another thing. i cant get anyting done and i feel like i cant funtion. is anynoe elses ptsd THIS bad with memory? could this be because i was repeatedly strangled to the point of blacking out?? what else might cause something like this? im goign to a psychiatrist soon but im just impatient and woudl like to know ideas ahead of time. and how should i help myself with it this bad?
 
It doesn't sound that extreme or worse than anyone else.It sounds pretty normal and fairly common to me.

Everyone forgets things,not just those with PTSD. Because everyone is so busy and distracted and not so present most of the time.

I don't think it's related to being strangled, I think it's probably just lack of focus. You said yourself you get distracted,it's easy to do.
 
Have you considered you are stressing over things that are forgotten easily even by people with perfectly working memories?

Truly. Forgetting to pay insurance, despite noting it down, is usual.

Longer answer: other than please don't catastrophize / meant kindly, I hear your distress, but the way you think about it is a bigger issue than the issue itself...

That is not 'extreme memory loss'.
Extreme memory loss is things like looking at a bottle of water and unable to remember how to drink, despite it around & should-be-instinctual.

And yes, been there / most examples I use on this site are from my life.

But even then?
Thinking of how bad it is doesn't help.
Looking for how to fix it, does.
 
That is not 'extreme memory loss'.

That was my first thought, too.

This isn't memory loss. Like...at all.

This is just forgetfulness. Which is really friggin f*cking common among everyone, including perfectly healthy people.

@hope4us I see your struggling, but I also see a lot of self-fulfilling prophecy happening with you. Among all the various threads you've posted, you tend to pathologize a lot of really normal things to the point of getting obsessed with the thought that any given behavior is due to trauma/PTSD. And if people on here tell you it probably isn't, you jump to the next one.

This is maybe a starting point to work on/investigate.

As has been asked multiple times at this point: are you in therapy?
 
I've had times of what I considered "extreme" memory loss in the past. Like showing up for therapy bleeding and needing bandages from my therapist and not being able to remember what happened. Having a very swollen,injured arm with no recollection of how it got that way. Having over $500 credit at the therapists office and being asked why I keep paying when I don't owe a bill and making excuses while not understanding /knowing why I did it. Working my job for about 6 hours and noticing I had a broken arm. Suddenly not being able to walk at work and being questioned by a manager about what happened and being told " you don't even know,do you?".Showing up for therapy not realizing I had just left a session.

The list goes on and on.And I think those are the types of memory loss professionals are concerned about. Forgetting to pay a bill,forgetting someone gave money,etc ,going to the store and not getting what you went for and many other things are just common forgetfulness that happens to most adults,especially in this chaotic,fast paced world we live in.

It sounds like,from what I've been reading in many of your posts, you're seeing everything from a PTSD lens now(where every little thing is omg,ptsd or omg,something seriously wrong).I'm sure once you see a psychiatrist he/she can ease many of your worries.

In the meantime,cut yourself some slack. If you have issues with remembering things there's many creative ways to help.Do a Google search and you'll find lots of helpful info.
 
As others have said... forgetting individual items for a few hours? Falls in the very very normal range of forgetting things, or forgetting things when stressed/distracted. Not even in the PTSD-normal (where blackouts without drinking, and losing major swaths of time is normal), but normal-normal.

The level of distress you’re feeling over fairly normal things, on the other hand? IS notable. As your therapist said, that reads as anxiety. Not “just” anxiety, but anxiety-anxiety. As in your kicking into anxiety attacks over very normal things. Which is both super normal-for-PTSD (as are panic attacks, which are a giant step up from anxiety attacks), and both anxiety attacks and panic attacks have a whole helluva lot of tools in order to scale it back & get it first manageable, and then gone altogether. :D

It’s one of the -few- awesome things about PTSD. Nothing lasts forever. I have another disorder whose symptoms are static / I’ll have the same symptoms, at the same strengths, for the rest of forever. So I work around them. PTSD, on the other hand, the symptoms actually change when you work on them. It’s an incredibly reactive disorder. Symptoms not only increase in reaction to stress, new trauma, loss of coping mechanisms,... but decrease as a person applies tools to symptoms, and process trauma. (Note on that one; symptoms increase when starting to process trauma, but decrease once the trauma is processed. Like I said, super reactive disorder). So, instead of having to work around PTSD symptoms like my other disorder, one can work on decreasing the symptoms themselves. Which is pretty durn cool.
 
It doesn't sound that extreme or worse than anyone else.It sounds pretty normal and fairly common to me.

Everyone forgets things,not just those with PTSD. Because everyone is so busy and distracted and not so present most of the time.

I don't think it's related to being strangled, I think it's probably just lack of focus. You said yourself you get distracted,it's easy to do.
but its all day all the time im like this like i cant even funtion and it seems like nothing ever gets done, ive known some people who have ptsd who are still able to function, everyone has days like this but for me its every day all day long

That was my first thought, too.

This isn't memory loss. Like...at all.

This is just forgetfulness. Which is really friggin f*cking common among everyone, including perfectly healthy people.

@hope4us I see your struggling, but I also see a lot of self-fulfilling prophecy happening with you. Among all the various threads you've posted, you tend to pathologize a lot of really normal things to the point of getting obsessed with the thought that any given behavior is due to trauma/PTSD. And if people on here tell you it probably isn't, you jump to the next one.

This is maybe a starting point to work on/investigate.

As has been asked multiple times at this point: are you in therapy?
yes and thankyou for bringing it to my attention. maybe im not actually as strange as i think i am
 
but its all day all the time im like this like i cant even funtion and it seems like nothing ever gets done, ive known some people who have ptsd who are still able to function, everyone has days like this but for me its every day all day long

How long has this been going on?

What is your level of functioning? Are you getting out of bed,showering,doing basic self care? What you consider not being able to function may not be the same as what I might consider.

You are able to post here and ask questions,so that's a good thing. It's also rather high functioning actually.

Do you spend a good deal of time thinking about,focusing on and researching your symptoms? In other words are you spending a lot of time lost in your own thoughts?

Is it that you are unable to function or that you are so caught up in other things that you don't?

I'm asking because I've experienced both and there's a big difference in the two. When I'm non functioning I'm simply not able to do anything and when I'm caught up in my own head I just dont function,but could with effort. That means getting busy doing things even if it's going for a walk,watching a movie,anything besides just sitting on the couch or staying in bed. My therapist told me in the past to do whatever I needed to even if it meant working 2 jobs.Anything to keep busy. It's grounding and helps.
 
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