I have panic attacks when people touch me

V

Voi

Whenever i have to do physical sports, i.e rugby and also just pushing, it's fine. But when i have to climb a wall as a team or something for a teambuilding exercise, the fact that my body is in basically full control in other people, I start having a really bad panic attack to the point where i can't do anything for 20 minutes straight. i'm getting diagnosed soon but i just want to know if other people experience this too :)

also i'm new here so sorry if this isn't the kinda stuff you're supposed to send here :>
 

Friday

Moderator
Oh for sure.

Sports? Even if someone is absolute SHITE at it, that’s still why they’re there. They want to be doin this. They’re trying to be doing this. There is a baseline of trust, right there: even the worst of us? Are still here, by choice, doing their best.

Teambuilding nonsense? Pfft! Ha! f*ck off. Seriously.

I just-so-happen to loooooove ♥️ 💕 ropes courses, and obstacle courses, and all the stuff they sell to corporate team-building whatever’s. But the REASON they’re selling them? Is because it ups adrenaline. Which builds connections between people. By putting them in (pseudo) life-or-death situations. <<<< That nonsense? We can light on fire, and watch it burn.

I don’t need to pseudo f*ck all. I’ve done it.

I reeeeeally don’t need to get a group of us whose jobs IN NO WAY depend on our ability to complete a ropes course, or paintball course, or hug it out touchy-feely (I am one of the most touchy-feely-f*ck-I-LOVE-physical-contact, but ooooooooh HELL NO being “ordered” to do it <glare> ) ... being ordered to... no. Hell no. f*ck no. f*ck off.

If my job has a paint ball team, or river rafting trip, or ropes course sign up? Yep!!! I am soooooo signed up.

If we’ve all been voluntold &/or ordered to do it? No. Hell no. f*ck no. f*ck off.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Totally understandable.
I would never ever do something like one of those team building, trust things (like falling backwards and someone catching you), or those sports one. Like what f*cked up mind comes up with that stuff?! It's hell. No thank you.

I'm the same with going for a massage. How is that relaxing? Having someone touch your body and you have no idea what they are going to do next or where they will touch you next. Nightmare.
Last time I had a sports injury I needed a sports massage: and it was just me disassociating the whole time. It did make my injury better but the process: oh my!

So yep: I relate.

Is there a way of not doing certain things that trigger this for a while? It's ok to say no and opt out. And you don't need to give an explanation either.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Even if I don’t get to the point of a panic attack, I f*cking hate it. DEEPLY. I just turn on autopilot and snap at everyone. Unsolicited touch, I startle and get grumpy/aggressive. Plus the pressure of having to be nice etc etc already makes me dissociate. I’m just not there. I detest team building in its principle. They used to make me do it a lot in school where I was bullied and had to team build with the bullies, rofl!

Only exception is when I chose to do some sport. I do close combat. Actually funnily enough, that’s the sport they touch you the less, and when they do I noticed the instructors take care of touching you through your shoes or reinforced clothes if really you have to readjust your position, and ask you if it’s okay to do it. Otherwise they tend mostly to show you, make you copy and repeat, no touch needed at all. Guess they’re quite used to ptsd’d folks that come to feel safer in the streets etc. Then you still have the opportunity to smash the target, it’s a very different mindset than having some intruder that keeps touching you for no reason. In horse riding too, the instructor just can’t even touch you because… you’re on a horse. Max they can do is again readjusting through your boots, so you don’t feel it like a touch.

But I think it’s totally justified to avoid the team building stuff. Because you’re already trapped with social pressure. Which already I find boundary violating per se, thus a triggering situation. So no much is needed to trigger a full aggressive DON’T f*ckING TOUCH ME OR I SEND YOU TO THE NEXT HOSPITAL (silent) kind of reaction, which translates in me freezing completely and ending up sitting somewhere on the side until the ire goes down.

In massages, I can enjoy it if the person really says everything they’re going to do, when and why. Same for medical stuff. I actually feel okay if the person keeps talking to me all the time, and if I’m not alone with the examiner/therapist. Keeping talking helps to snap out of the dissociation/panicky state. And also learning stuff. Why they massage in a way or another. Learning nerves names and stuff.

So if really you want to do the thing, try to keep focusing on others and not on you, ask a lot of questions and make a lot of jokes. And if you can’t, you can’t. Team building stuff really shouldn’t be mandatory, exposing yourself to something unbearable cannot be mandatory. You have the right to opt out.
 
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