I Have to Ask - Why is Bec Modded?

[anthony]

Absolutely Lisa.... but do you then face your husband, friend or the like with your feelings? If you do, that is exactly my point. Honesty. People talk about people, that is not an issue for me. What is an issue, is when people talk about people, yet then do not face that person with resolve, with honesty, and especially when questioned are not honest about their acts. That means they lie to you. Not a characteristic that I enjoy, having people lie to me. This is the problem, not so much the very good point you have raised.... and maybe I just wrote that wrong I think. I agree, its not about people saying things offline, its about the honesty and integrity, the aspect of a person who gives advice here, and aspect of lieing to a persons face when questioned with the truth. That is what has made me do what I have done with bec.

Again, it would be absolutely improper of myself to allow any member that I knowingly discover continue to give advice to others who outright is caught to lie or be deceptive. If I caught another, the same would have occurred, moderation. Bec is no different. I wanted it kept off the forum, veiled bought it onto the forum.... so now its open. Moderation is not about dismissing a members voice, it is purely about checking what they are saying and if absolutely required, to remove any aspect that is beyond opinion or relevance to a threads topic.

Agreed though Lisa and point taken. My apologies. I did word that aspect incorrectly for what I was trying to say.

 

[grace5555]

<<<<<<Bowing out at this point...so very confused with it all...

 

[grace5555]

Anthony - I do want to say thanks for the manner in which you responded to me. While I appreciated it, I have many questions remaining but unfortunately, I am not at a point where I can process it all so I am trying to step back now and be quiet. I must admit conflict makes me ill...

 

[Nicolette]

Grace I think it is amazing you can admit to where you are and what you can cope with at this point in time. As a Carer being able to do that is truly a blessing as I know we mean well but often don't know what to do or what is best for our suffer. Your kind of openness and honesty must be most helpful to those around you. Well done!

 

[anthony]

Grace, please ask your questions, whether here or through PM. This is not conflict, it was simply veiled asking a question, which I have responded. All members opinions are valid, whether they agree with my decision or not, valid none the less.

 

[becvan]

Unless it's mine.

 

[Lisa]

Okay I realise I may not know the full situation. But based on this thread, damn you need your heads banged together. It's like the parents are squabbling. So bec called you an asshole while venting in private... it's hardly the crime of the century. I don't feel it justifies the kind of harsh comments on her character... This feels to me more of a matter between two friends, than a political matter on the forum. If bec was taken off as editor for the shake up reasons (which was what I had assumed), then the only issue is the fact that she is in moderation. And if you've put her in moderation as a 'normal' member here, then the responsibility of being a role model should not apply.

So would you put every single person who said something offline in vent about someone on the forum into moderation? Because if that's the case, then you should put me into moderation too... because, whilst I haven't called anyone names, I've had my bitch, whine and moan offline before. I just didn't air them here because on thinking twice, I realised that it really wasn't all that important in the grand scheme of things, and I realised after letting some steam off that I was over reacting... dealing with my own trauma was more important. But I wouldn't have come to that conclusion if I hadn't have had my bitch whine and moan in private.

If bec did it as a moderator, then perhaps that's different, purely on the basis that the editors and you need to uphold solidarity as the pillars of this forum. Thus any issues should be dealt with within the political circle, if you like, to avoid loss of status and respect here as a team holding this forum together.

I feel the comments about bec as person appear to be a little extreme, or inappropriate particularly when they are being aired publicly.

Sorry to be short, but this is my opinion and I feel somewhat that someone needs to tap some heads together to this whole situation. The thing is... this all makes me hugely sad, for both bec and you Anthony. You two are friends. For christs sake don't let one thing ruin that... life is too short. If you feel bec was way out of line, and that it's something she needs to deal with as part of PTSD etc., then help her. But I don't see how all this public fighting could ever help anyone... and furthermore, it upsets me to see this happening. Because I value both you and bec... and this is all getting way out of hand from my perspective.

I wasn't going to reply to this, because frankly, its between you two, not the rest of the world... but it broke my heart when bec said "except mine". She's hurting a lot and that statement said it all. And I just think it's all over the top.

This is turning into an international bitch fight being played in public, so I'm probably going to get some bitching back...

But I'm personally asking you Anthony, to lock this thread. It's not going to help anyone here, and this needs to be dealt with in private.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Oh Lisa

How I agree with everything you have said. This needs to be over and done with. Or at least in the PM system as you suggested.

We, as memebers, need to know that we can express our feelings no matter what. This mess is only creating doubt and hesitation about our confort zone.

This has given me the impression that the private message system is watched and the fact it is private is a joke. While I don't actually think that, this post makes it sound like the pm is watched. JUST MHO

 

[piglet]

Holy shit!! I've been away awhile - very up & down - and I pop in to find this thread. It appears to be a typical argument for us ptsders!

There is a disagreement. Shit is thrown. Everyone gets dirty and it's not pleasant. How about a clean-up?

It's Anthony's forum, so he can do what he likes with it. We choose to be members. I feel sad that bec is moderated, but I don't know the detail of what happened, so I can't judge. I hope the fences can be mended, as it would be a great shame for the forum to develop a bad atmosphere; we are supposed to be supporting each other.

I also feel that we all have enough to deal with, without making knee-jerk decisions about other members when we don't know the details. Maybe this event can give us all something to think about.

 

[Claire]

I just wanted to say, I agree with Lisa, this is private between you 2 and although Veiled asked the question surely you could sort things out without getting everyone involved. I cant possibly comment on the rights or wrongs of whats been said or not between you 2 as only you know what's gone on. I dont like it being done in public though. Seems a bit of an unfair fight.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I don't know the way things work around here obviously. But one thing I do know is if the fact that the 'editors' or the 'owner' is able to read our PM's, that is a disgrace, and not to mention very corrupt.

The definition of Private is this: The right for a person to keep their personal matters and relationships a secret.

If the private messages are able to be read by the editors or owner here, then this is a miscarriage of justice, and immorality to this forum and I will no longer feel safe here, ever.

So my direct question is to Anthony....Are you able to read our private messages here on this forum? If so have you ever read them?

I expect an honest answer. I hope you can hold yourself to the same standards that you hold bec to. I asked a straight forward honest question, and I expect a straight forward honest answer.

Tammy

 

[Grama-Herc]

Tammy

I am very interested to see if Anthony answers your question.

I am impressed with your ability to ask it. Shows you as an honest person. You speak your mind! I admire that.

Here I am, at my age, still trying to develope a backbone, so to speak!

This entire thing has gotten way out of hand. I hope that it will be resolved and we can all move on