• All donations and upgrades are manually verified and approved within 24hrs.
  • Upgrades are ongoing. Learn how to save your bookmarked posts.

I havent been feeling so angry lately..

Thread starter #1
For about two weeks I was feeling rage coupled with revenge fantasy.

The past few days the rage has subsided I I dont seem to feel like getting revenge anymore.

The trouble is I am now just left with the depression and pangs of anxiety.

Is it a good sign that the rage has subsided?

Is this as sign of another level of healing?
 
#2
Speaking for myself here - I think so, but I have only recently begun this healing journey. Maybe it has subsided for a while.

In my experience this comes in waves. Sometimes I get new bursts of rage when fresh memories are retrieved from the distant past. Other times old rage and revenge fantasies return, but they are no longer so intensely distracting. Eventually these wave settle, leaving grief and sadness in their wake.
 
#3
Generally speaking... when I’m switching from one out of control emotion &/or set of behaviors for another? Nah. I’m not getting any better, as I am still dysregulated as faaaaaawk, and often getting worse. Ideally? I’m just substituting thing A for thing B. Not getting any better, but not getting worse, either. Wheeeee :wtf: The PTSD rollercoaster!

Often, though, the longer I’m dysregulated? The less control I have, the stronger my other symptoms also get, and the more it takes over my life. So, instead of it being spikes of dysreg here & there... as I lose control for a little while? Minutes, hours, days? I start getting flooded, instead. Days, weeks, months.

If I’m less in PTSD-land, and dealing more with something that has a predicitble arc? Like Grief? (Grief is an old friend.) Moving from one stage to another can definitely be progress.

The only time switching this flavor of dysreg for that flavor of dysreg has had any positive effect in/on my life? Is when I have better coping mechanisms for one than the other. Like I’m pretty damn adept with dealing with anger/rage, but I suck at dealing with depression/despair. So if I can catch it early enough to force a shift? I will.
 
Last edited:

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
#5
I think it's more what the thing does for you - and its absence - than that it's up or gone that is a thing to mind.

So if revenge fantasies were about a sense of being able to get justice - and their going leaves you desperate and powerless feeling that there's no justice / issue not only not right, but not righted, and worse, not rightABLE....

Then yeah, it may point to where you need to do some healing.

Aka how you view what happened / your own sense of agency / sense of being supported or not by society and its customs & laws / what you feel about the perp's responsibility & role in that act / how you feel current status quo played a role to the act and complicate your life now / what you believe about other victims and their protection or right to protection...

And any other number of issues that were easier aimed at imagined solution being Let's f*ck him up. Soonest.

As yeah. It's a complex thing you're dealing with...

Not a straightforward Douche hurt me and is in for a good beating. There. Problem solved. :cool:
 
Top Bottom