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I hope this isn't forever. ptsd has complicated my life.

  • Thread starter Deleted member 37474
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Deleted member 37474

Plans for today:
1. Church, check
2. Take kid to lesson, check
3. Read... nope
4. Laundry... nope
5. Way late work email, check
6. Walk dog... nope :-(
7. Summer schedule... nope
8. F.A. kids billing... nope
9. Call people that owe, nope
10. Figure out this week... nope
11. Grocery store... nope
12. Straighten up house...nope

In the past I could typically do all of this on a Sunday. I feel like a failure. It takes 3 times longer to do anything. My anxiety is awful due to the work stuff I was trying to accomplish and my lack of time for exercise. Plus, I processed some of my trauma last night and that alone is killing my spirit. So... will it continue to get better or am I forever disabled where I can't do as much as I am used to doing?
 
I don't think any of us here can answer that question for you. What I can say is that you are no longer the person you used to be. In all likelihood you will never be that person again. That doesn't make you a failure. It just means you'll have to adapt and find new ways to move forward.

I know... I know... its a lot easier said than done.
 
Sometimes it just takes time. I understand your frustration and I wish there was a quick fix.

Processing trauma takes a lot out of a person. It can be overwhelming to complete small tasks. I think it makes it harder for us to be patient with ourselves, because PTSD isn't something visible. People understand if a person's in a wheelchair and their legs are paralyzed that they can't get up and walk. If we were that person, we wouldnt expect ourselves to get up and walk, yet sometimes I think that's exactly what we expect from ourselves.

Sometimes we just have to accept where we are at and take that time to fully heal as much as we can. If we don't deal with it, it just comes back up later and then we have to start all over again.
 
It might be difficult to get this type of help, but perhaps a trauma therapist and a psychotherapist or more "plain" talk therapist can work together - a trauma therapist may have trouble helping you with all that you are looking for.

Once again I am basing this on my own personal experiences. I don't know what else to tell you, except - I do wish the best for you. Struggle, I get, I know. I'm so sorry you have all this suffering.
 
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