Hi there,im new to this and im feeling quite low and confused lately. My partner has combat PTSD i have been with him nearly 12 months. He returned from his last deployment in late 2012. And i met him march 2014 I came into this knowing he had some sort of ptsd. As i could see the symptoms working in the field of mental health myself i could pick it up quite quickly. Ive never posted here before or been on a forum to help me.
My partner cannot be around crowds, likes to isolate himself, becomes very distant at times ( which causes me anxiety) and if i touch him he becomes so tense and jumpy as well as In bed. i sometimes have to ask for permission to just have a cuddle that can sometimes be even difficult to cope with and sometimes i walk on egg shells he trys so hard.
he has told me recently that i should just walk away so it doesnt hurt me and he wants me to be happy. Yet he knows that his the one that makes me happy and i keep saying this to him that i want to be there to do all i can. (Also understanding its a battle he has to get through himself He has not voiced to me he loves me but his a more actions speak more than words kind of guy I know deep down he wants me in his life and that he does love me because everytime i say it he says "i know" but i can see so much pain in his eyes.
I know previously he had a relationship during his last deployment which was about 12 months however half of that was him deployed in afgan. He mentioned that he had a girlfriend which she ended up getting so bad because of his ptsd that she nearly went to hospital. Im not sure why he has suddenly pulled away but could be the reason for previous issues ?etc.
Recently he told me the same situation "im hurting you i dont want to hurt you just walk away" yet he didnt voice to me he wanted me to leave etc. I just turned around and said that i want to be there for him and that i love him. He then voiced "well your going to do what you want anyway" (i can be stubborn) i noticed he was pulling away over the days after however still planning a few things but i was initiating the contact.
We had a wedding over the weekend just gone and he was "not there in his head and kept saying he was in such a bad headspace etc" im not sure if his scared i will be brought down like what happened to the previous girlfiend. Im a strong person and independent.. on saturday i could notice he wasnt in the right headspace i turned to him and said that he should of told me he didnt want to come and that i would have understood but he said to me that "i kept a promise and was going to push through" i then said and put my foot down "im going to do something for you and give you space" i also said that i would not communicate with him so he has this time and we arranged to get in contact again in 8 days. I said i love you and that he needed this because i didnt want to lose him and he promised he would talk to me the following sunday. He then left the wedding and i recieved a text saying "im home safe try and have a good night"
Tell you what i know im doing this for him but its hard on me im worried he will take this time and when it comes to sunday he wont call me i have so much fear and not sure if this was the right thing for me to do we parted fine had a very tense kiss and hug but then he did message me when he got home. i think he really appreciated me saying that he needed space. and im trying to focus on myself this week and not let it get to me take some time fir myself. Do you think if i havent heard from him on sunday it would be okay for me to call as we both agreed on it. ??
My partner cannot be around crowds, likes to isolate himself, becomes very distant at times ( which causes me anxiety) and if i touch him he becomes so tense and jumpy as well as In bed. i sometimes have to ask for permission to just have a cuddle that can sometimes be even difficult to cope with and sometimes i walk on egg shells he trys so hard.
he has told me recently that i should just walk away so it doesnt hurt me and he wants me to be happy. Yet he knows that his the one that makes me happy and i keep saying this to him that i want to be there to do all i can. (Also understanding its a battle he has to get through himself He has not voiced to me he loves me but his a more actions speak more than words kind of guy I know deep down he wants me in his life and that he does love me because everytime i say it he says "i know" but i can see so much pain in his eyes.
I know previously he had a relationship during his last deployment which was about 12 months however half of that was him deployed in afgan. He mentioned that he had a girlfriend which she ended up getting so bad because of his ptsd that she nearly went to hospital. Im not sure why he has suddenly pulled away but could be the reason for previous issues ?etc.
Recently he told me the same situation "im hurting you i dont want to hurt you just walk away" yet he didnt voice to me he wanted me to leave etc. I just turned around and said that i want to be there for him and that i love him. He then voiced "well your going to do what you want anyway" (i can be stubborn) i noticed he was pulling away over the days after however still planning a few things but i was initiating the contact.
We had a wedding over the weekend just gone and he was "not there in his head and kept saying he was in such a bad headspace etc" im not sure if his scared i will be brought down like what happened to the previous girlfiend. Im a strong person and independent.. on saturday i could notice he wasnt in the right headspace i turned to him and said that he should of told me he didnt want to come and that i would have understood but he said to me that "i kept a promise and was going to push through" i then said and put my foot down "im going to do something for you and give you space" i also said that i would not communicate with him so he has this time and we arranged to get in contact again in 8 days. I said i love you and that he needed this because i didnt want to lose him and he promised he would talk to me the following sunday. He then left the wedding and i recieved a text saying "im home safe try and have a good night"
Tell you what i know im doing this for him but its hard on me im worried he will take this time and when it comes to sunday he wont call me i have so much fear and not sure if this was the right thing for me to do we parted fine had a very tense kiss and hug but then he did message me when he got home. i think he really appreciated me saying that he needed space. and im trying to focus on myself this week and not let it get to me take some time fir myself. Do you think if i havent heard from him on sunday it would be okay for me to call as we both agreed on it. ??
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