Other I Keep Seeing Them And Hearing Them - Terrorist Attack On TV After Child Abuse

Phoenix Rising

Learning
i keep seeing and hearing planes, i see 911 playing over and over in my head. I was working in as a sex worker at the time , was waiting for the next person to see me i was watching tv and it came on the bbc news watched it all, got money, got drunk, then woke up in my bed too scared to go out the house for days didnt go back to the place i was working, for days and days i didnt leave the house , managed to get other money and kept drinking for days on end now its years on am married to my partner who is very supportive and understanding i no longer drink, i was abused as a child as well thats the main reason i post here , any time planes go passed i feel terrfined but now am seeing them over and over
 
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Friday

Moderator
It makes sense...

Either?

- After finally escaping the abuse and supporting yourself? BAM! Now planes are falling from the sky, and buildings crashing to the ground. Instead of home being unsafe & everywhere else being various degrees of safe? Now noooooowhere is safe. Regardless of which attack, where? 911 London Underground, France, Israel... It hit you. At just the wrong moment, and stole your security. Kicking all your core beliefs & methods of self preservation in the teeth, making “home” (abuse) “everywhere” with just as much focused intent on you as there was at home... becoming a giant clusterf*ck of past & present, real & not real, then & now... as your worlds collided.

Or?

- Still in the middle of your trauma history, it’s become a trigger for you, one that you’re hit with every time the BBC tone hits your ears, the logo hits your eyes, the “journalist accent” paces deliberately... and with every terror attack, or political speech on terror, or security tightening, or parent group gossip, or, or, or. All fragging you right back to being on the middle of your trauma.

Or some from column A & some from column B.

((As one of maaaaaaaany possible examples of those 2 things merging? >>> Now being married & creating a home of your own, your abuse history is screaming sirens at you that home is danger, you’re in danger, STOP!!! But? Because Avoidance itself is a symptom of PTSD, what your brain is throwing at you is from the last time you thought you were safe and planes crashed into buildings. Grabbing at the pattern of you think you’re finally safe, you think things are different, they’re not. Rather than directly confronting the trauma that built the response.))

It just plain makes sense you’re a bit of a wreck right now. Whether your trauma was over & you were starting a new life, or you were eyeballs deep in trauma and this has locked in as a trigger, or some unholy combo of both? It’s all perfectly logical.
 
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