I like feeling ignored and alone

Deanna

MyPTSD Pro
It feels familiar and safe, a way of ensuring isolation.

Isolation doesn’t always mean safer

Isn't that a oxymoron? It turned my head around. Lol! People's brains wear me out. So, being isolated to me is very comfortable. But no, being isolated doesn't mean being safer. In my case, an alarm system is being safer. I'm very thorough.

IE.. And my cat. Comfort animal even though she is not the best. I work and she stays home so I don't drag her all over the place.
 
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Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Isn't that a oxymoron? It turned my head around. Lol! People's brains wear me out.

PTSD wears me out. Isolation feels comfortable and safe but I’m wrong now. It was safe then, now it’s not. I need to actively counter that distortion.

Uncomfortable to challenge it?
Extremely—Alarm bells.

Maybe a comfort object. Cat in a backpack! ?
 

Deanna

MyPTSD Pro
PTSD wears me out. Isolation feels comfortable and safe but I’m wrong now. It was safe then, now it’s not. I need to actively counter that distortion.

Uncomfortable to challenge it?
Extremely—Alarm bells.

Maybe a comfort object. Cat in a backpack! ?
I just cancel it out when I want to do something. I work though and come home and work. ( I'm going to file for disability) and then that's when it would hit me. I'm pretty active.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
Can you safe isolate?

I mean, being somewhere not really isolated, but that won't wear you out.

One of my safer ways of isolating is bars that are low volume & when not drinking. Being near people, not doing things I do when isolating, and not where I got a chance wrecking myself.

Bookworm headbunch prefers libraries for the same, tearooms, galleries, coffeeshops, botanic gardens, parks. I'm in for parks only if there's water bodies, just green for a long time spaces me out bad.

So maybe know your comfort zone and alter the degree to the cutting contact?
 

Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Can you safe isolate?

I mean, being somewhere not really isolated, but that won't wear you out.

I like this idea and can envision myself doing it, so thank you. I have done this before. When I purposefully went to the cafe to drink morning tea instead of doing it at home. That was a few months ago. I can see how it would have to be a discipline. But I like that. I like giving myself challenges sometimes, sort of like earning points for myself.

I read a quote by Gabor Mate that made me return to this thread. “Safety is not the absence of threat, it’s the presence of connection.”

I am learning to stay connected. Along the way in my recovery I have believed that I am “getting” connection... understanding how to do it... and then I go through some kind of growth or rupture and it feels like the whole thing is in pieces on the floor. And I realize that when I thought I had grown so much I had only grown a little, and I need to integrate something new, but not sure how yet.
 
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