I Lost My Cat and I Am Really Struggling

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
It’s 4:30am and I just got back from the vet emergency room. I lost my cat. I decided to let him go as he was suffering so badly. I have let a number of animals go when their health takes a nosedive, but this one was the worst as he was struggling so much at the end. He has been sick less than 2 months so this wasn’t expected so soon. None of the medications were helping him and they were literally giving him everything they could. I wanted to be there in the last moments so he would know he was loved and not just abandoned to some strange place (the hospital). It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. The next step would have been hospitalization, but given the underlying condition, it would have likely just meant more suffering and I don’t believe it’s right to do that to an animal when they are clearly doing so poorly.

My home is so empty now.

I took an Ativan so I can sleep, but I know it will hurt so bad when I wake up.
 

Warrior Chicken

MyPTSD Pro
Heartfelt sorrow for your loss, these are difficult times and I hope that you can find comfort and warmth. Eventually taking in all the amazing memories, photos, and love from your life together.
 

Miyu38

Confident
It’s 4:30am and I just got back from the vet emergency room. I lost my cat. I decided to let him go as he was suffering so badly. I have let a number of animals go when their health takes a nosedive, but this one was the worst as he was struggling so much at the end. He has been sick less than 2 months so this wasn’t expected so soon. None of the medications were helping him and they were literally giving him everything they could. I wanted to be there in the last moments so he would know he was loved and not just abandoned to some strange place (the hospital). It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. The next step would have been hospitalization, but given the underlying condition, it would have likely just meant more suffering and I don’t believe it’s right to do that to an animal when they are clearly doing so poorly.

My home is so empty now.

I took an Ativan so I can sleep, but I know it will hurt so bad when I wake up.
Maybe in order to get thought it better write a letter to the cat.
It's hard having to see animals go. Sending 🫂 your way in hopes that it gets easier.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you all for your kind words of support. I was so distressed that I only slept for 2 hours and had to take another Ativan to get more sleep, which is very unusual for me as oftentimes just one can make me a zombie the next day, after making me sleep for 10 hours. I kept myself busy after I got up at noon and got out of the house, which definitely helped. My mind loops aren’t so great right now as I keep thinking of what I could have done differently. But, the reality of the situation is that he had extensive scarring in his lungs and this isn’t a condition that can be fixed. He was pulled off his mamma at only 2 weeks (not my doing, the exact situation was unknown) and this can make cats more susceptible to health problems, plus he had a few other chronic (likely genetic) health issues as well, so he was never a 100% healthy kitty cat. He was 11 1/2 when he died, and I was hoping he’d be around for at least a few more years. He had a good life though. I have to keep reminding myself that it was a progressive disease and it wasn’t going to get better, and could only be managed, at best. His regular vet stressed to me that it was about making him as comfortable as possible. I never wanted him to suffer, so I’m glad that he didn’t show any symptoms until the last few months. I keep thinking that I see him or hear him. It was rough this morning as we had an AM routine that we did every morning. I will never know the full truth of what happened, so I need to stop second guessing myself and accept that it was his time to go, and that he had a good life. He was very ill, and nothing seemed to help him in the end. I know I did everything I could for him, but his illness was just too advanced. He will be greatly missed. ❤️
 
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