I'm proud of you for doing the work here in the journal. I am hugging you and also want to say I am here. Right with you. A different trauma. But I understand you get exhausted. An exhaustion before trauma nobody besides trauma victims can understand. I am still learning why I am turning on myself. I don't know how to attach what I found online that might help you. An excerpt basically saying something like. We try to hide from ourselves. Which explains the turning on ourselves. We feel disconnected. But you my dear can and will pick up the pieces. Love to you.