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I need help, is this PTSD?

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NDL

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I don’t know what’s wrong, it all started after me and an ex of 3 years had a miscarriage. I blamed her for everything that happened in the relationship and moved on with my life but ever since then my life has slowly went into more chaos I stopped doing my usual activities I feel numb and out of place all the time. I get angry fast and it’s why I can’t play video games for extended periods of time but I find it boring to play games that aren’t multiplayer anymore (I hope that’s relevant bc I used to put hours and I mean HOURS on solo games and would beat them within the day of getting them). Nothing I used to do feels exciting and I find it to be a hassle to do anything besides be alone and play games.

I often get set off by even the slightest remark from others and I’m getting really scared. Please help.
 
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Hello @NDL - welcome to the forums.

I'm so sorry you've lost a child due to miscarriage & then a relationship too. That's life changing & must have been very hard. Either one of those events on their own would have been terrible and difficult to manage but together it must have been overwhelming.

I suppose you know that nobody is responsible for everything in a relationship and that you probably had a hand in most things?

Did you receive any counselling after either of these events? If not, I'd suggest you try to get an appointment with a GP and ask for a referral to a therapist. Therapy may be able to open up these events for you again and work through them properly and hopefully find you some kind of better resolution & peace.

It's quite predictable that after shocking events a person drops their normal routine, finds that they cannot concentrate, numbs out, becomes angry & uncomfortable in their own skin. It sounds like you are feeling like that too.

Whilst these symptoms are coming over you I guess it feels like you cannot control them? Well, you can but it takes practice & eventually they will be manageable. How you get to that place is as different as we are individuals. But a therapist will help you work on it. It's hard work but you're reaching out now so take that as a sign that you are not happy with the person you currently feel you are.

Playing games is a great distraction, diversion & escape. But eventually as it seems, you're finding it's not enough. Time to speak to a real person & discover what is behind all of that desire to distract.

Hopefully you will be able to return to your games and enjoy them.
 
Miscarriage in and of itself doesn’t usually lead to PTSD, although there are certainly exceptions... what you’re describing sounds far more like grief & possibly depression.

Most hospitals offer grief counseling for parents of stillborn babies, and miscarriages... which would probably be one of the best places to start; as someone who specializes in the shock and grief of expectant parents losing a pregnancy? Would be able to get a better read on your situation and refer you onto other specialists if what you’re dealing with looks like something other than grief.

Sorry for your loss.
 
I agree with all that @blackemerald1 has said. I can vouch that therapy does help. Also that you will be doing the work. A therapist just guides you mostly and listens well too.

Welcome to the Forum here, you will find it most helpful.
 
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