I need to start therapy again

Ice_Fire

MyPTSD Pro
I’ve been out of therapy for, God, four years now and an awful lot has happened in that time. I’ve lost both grandparents (who raised me when my situation at home growing up came to light), an aunt, and recently, my Dad (lots of issues there even though he hasn’t abused me directly). I’m still in touch with my toxic, abusive, demanding and manipulative mother and I don’t know how to cut her out. And my partner may or may not be seriously ill, we’re waiting on scan results. Amongst other things, there’s plenty I need to work through.

I’m very depressed, I’m tired of having the weight of the world on me. And I feel like I have nobody to turn to.

In the past I’ve had a mix of therapists ranging from out of their depth with my trauma, through to actually really good. But I can’t go back to my last therapist I don’t think because she works for a charity rape crisis centre and well, it’s for people I’m more immediate need after assault and the waiting list is a mile long. I really worked well with my T there but I wouldn’t feel right even asking.

So how do I go about choosing a T? Before I’ve always been referred and with mixed results kind of “stuck with” whoever I’ve been referred to. I’ve no idea how to go about choosing a T myself. What to ask, what to say, how much to share about my issues at the moment? It feels a lot to unpack with lots of strangers to see if they think they can help or not.

Also does anyone know if there’s any help financially with therapy in Scotland? I doubt I’ll qualify for help, I’m in that awkward position where it’s not quite affordable. Because I know once I get started it’s going to be a long old process.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
There is the psychology today website or the British association of counselling and psychotherapy (bacp) that have therapist you can search.
It's how I found mine.

Some of them might do a 'sliding scale' of payment , meaning reduced fees if you meet their criteria for that?

Would it help to write down a 'wish list' of what your perfect T would look like (gender, age, experience, type of therapy, location ,cost etc etc) and then see who best meets that list?
 

Ice_Fire

MyPTSD Pro
@Movingforward10 thats so helpful thank you. A wish list is a good idea, I’m just not sure what would be on it. I’ve always had female therapists but I’m open to trying therapy with a male. I guess I’m just unsure whether I’d get very far with the CSA stuff...

Age, hmm, well that doesn’t matter I suppose although experience comes with age I guess. Lots to think on, thank you.
 

Ice_Fire

MyPTSD Pro
Oh it seems like a minefield? How do I know which approach/style would be helpful? I’ve done a bit of EMDR with brain spotting before with my last T. So maybe that? But there’s grief and stuff I need to process to. What’s an integrative approach? A bit of everything? CBT, I’m not sure? I really have no clue and my mind jest shuts down when I try to get my head around it all.
 

piratelady

MyPTSD Pro
Oh it seems like a minefield? How do I know which approach/style would be helpful? I’ve done a bit of EMDR with brain spotting before with my last T. So maybe that? But there’s grief and stuff I need to process to. What’s an integrative approach? A bit of everything? CBT, I’m not sure? I really have no clue and my mind jest shuts down when I try to get my head around it all.
I don’t think you can or need to really know what approach would be best. Most therapists are trained in a variety of modalities and would tailor treatment to you after getting to know you a bit. So maybe just look for someone well versed in a variety of treatments.

Can you summarize your trauma, high-level in like a couple sentences? Then I would just see if you can find a few, through googling, and call them. Give your high level explanation of your trauma/ what you’re looking for help with, and also your financial situation and see what they say. They may either say they have no experience with trauma or ask you a couple of questions, and go from there.
 
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