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I ruin things around me when I slip out of reality

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Pocket Fairy

Before I had PTSD, I never would have been able to grasp how someone can have a foot in reality and a foot in a memory without being able to tell the two apart. No one else can know what's happening in my mind or my eyes or my ears, and I can't explain it in the moment. It's embarrassing afterward, when I realize that I'm missing time in real life and replacing that time with some memory that got mixed in. It makes me feel like a crazy person and makes me look like a basket case. But it's so exhausting, living in this kind of universe now, where I can't control anything that takes over my head. I'm so scared and panicked all the time, even when I'm sitting next to someone who loves me, who isn't doing anything wrong. It keeps getting worse. I feel like it's destroying every part of life that I love. I'm so tired of going back to that place that makes me feel trapped and anxious and threatened in real time.
 
i'm so sorry that you understand more now, pocket fairy. i wouldn't wish this understanding on my worst enemy.

still. . . were it not for my lifelong struggle with this disorder, there are quite allot of unsung heroes in my life that i never would have met any other way. i call those unsung heroes, "my siblings-in-healing." the healing of one is the healing of us all.

dare i hope you will become one of my sibs-in-healing. healing happens. i hope it happens to you.
 
Hey how are you doing? I can relate to your post a lot and I'm feeling this way now. Have you found solutions that work?
 
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