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I stood up for myself at work :-d

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Deleted member 28942

I was having problem with the person I was working with. He was kinda like my supervisor/mentor. He was rude and unhelpful. Dismissive communication style. Mainly do what I told you and don't bother me. Also dismissive of my accomplishments and very discouraging. He reminded me of my mother.

I messaged HR and talked about the problem with them. Also I was clever to take a snapshot of a chat we had where I clearly told him what the problem is and he kept avoiding it. At the end of the chat I was very clear on what I want and he just ignored it totally. I send that to HR. Met with them they talked to him he wanted to have a meeting with me. We had the meeting and it was horrible. He tried to use guilt, shame, blame, and fear. He threatened to give a bad performance review if I am asking for help. Told me that another person I am working with said something about me (Seriously high school mean girls stuff). He tried to attack me in many ways. I stayed relatively calm and told him it is best that we end the conversation here. After that another meeting with HR then meeting with the manager today. The meeting with the manager was great and very helpful. He was a great person to talk to. He heard me acknowledged that other people have had problem working with this person. Told me to feel free and reach out to him if I ever have problems cause it is his job to deal with that. I am getting another person. The one the person I am currently working with tried to say had made an unfavorable remark about me needing help. The manager send me an email to tell me to try to erase the slate clean and start with a fresh mind. To feel free to pat him on the back if I have any problems or if I have questions.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so relieved am about to go home and cry. I managed to handle all this pretty well. I was really afraid that I will start crying though I have intense fear of someone seeing me cry and that has not happen in ages. I was also afraid that the manager will tell me to stop blaming people or making things up but he was very understanding and approachable. I am doing pretty good. I'll pat myself on the back for handling this, for standing up for myself. For the difficult things I am going through. For the hard work with two therapists. For being alive. For not giving up on myself. For people that see me and hear me. For people that care. Tear, tear, tear ...
 
What a great share !!!! Thanks for letting us know, that what we do matters, that doing this healing journey does have some awesome payoffs... and very proud of you for standing up for yourself in a professional way and brought about change.... very happy for you... and very proud !!!!

Continued success !!!!:hug:
 
I am very emotional right now and I have to be really careful. This would be hard for anyone but I don't mind playing the gender card and saying it's much harder for men. We are doing stuff in therapy I thought I'd never do. We were at a flag day thing in my town for veterans and active duty military. One of my sons is in the Army. I was choking back tears the whole time. The way you handled your situation was great I could not have done that probably ever but especially now. I become very quiet and almost frozen about aggression and I see things that are very innocent, that most people would ignore, like an assault. I almost have multiple personalities. (I do really but the therapist says it's more about disassociation) There is an ugly me that sneaks out and barks at people lol. I actually saw it in the mirror a couple weeks ago when I yelled at the girl trying to cut my hair. This is really hard because when confronted I become submissive. Now I have to get another barber lol! The hair/appearance thing is so traumatic. I never could see ugly me before. I thought I was behaving myself but I wasn't.
 
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