SunnyWeather
Learning
Hi everyone,
I think I might have DID. Just writing that feels unreal, but something happened yesterday and I don't think I can ignore it anymore. For a long time now I have been telling myself that all of my symptoms stem from PTSD because the alternative has been something that terrifies me way too much.
Ever since I was a child I have felt disconnected from my environment and my peers. Feeling that way has been a constant in my life. My memory and understanding of time has also been of subjet to change ever since I was a child. I forget things constantly, but often when I realize that I just do not care. My attitude to my environment and the people in it can change completely in a matter of minutes and it feels completely natural even though that change is based on absolutely nothing (this always happens when I dissociate).
My body does not feel like mine either. Most of the time it is like I cannot recognize the fact that I am a grown man. Also, I constantly do things without knowing why (start conversations, make jokes, become annoyed or incredibly angry, go and hide etc). It feels like I have no idea who I am, and it has always been like that. When I was a child, I grew up in two very different environments. At school, I was appreciated and liked, while my homelife was basically hell.
I know that this forum is not for making diagnoses (that is not what I am expecting or want), but does anyone with DID relate to this? Could this be DID or am I just barking up the wrong disorder tree? I am really confused and scared. It feels like I have never questioned any of these things before because I needed them.
I think I might have DID. Just writing that feels unreal, but something happened yesterday and I don't think I can ignore it anymore. For a long time now I have been telling myself that all of my symptoms stem from PTSD because the alternative has been something that terrifies me way too much.
Ever since I was a child I have felt disconnected from my environment and my peers. Feeling that way has been a constant in my life. My memory and understanding of time has also been of subjet to change ever since I was a child. I forget things constantly, but often when I realize that I just do not care. My attitude to my environment and the people in it can change completely in a matter of minutes and it feels completely natural even though that change is based on absolutely nothing (this always happens when I dissociate).
My body does not feel like mine either. Most of the time it is like I cannot recognize the fact that I am a grown man. Also, I constantly do things without knowing why (start conversations, make jokes, become annoyed or incredibly angry, go and hide etc). It feels like I have no idea who I am, and it has always been like that. When I was a child, I grew up in two very different environments. At school, I was appreciated and liked, while my homelife was basically hell.
I know that this forum is not for making diagnoses (that is not what I am expecting or want), but does anyone with DID relate to this? Could this be DID or am I just barking up the wrong disorder tree? I am really confused and scared. It feels like I have never questioned any of these things before because I needed them.