This is so unlike me to post something like this but I’m struggling.
I went to the pub with mates. We was all having a lot to drink and celebrating England winning.
My female friend left at about 8 and I was left with a few lads from work, but we had started talking to another group of lads because we was messing around and trying to set my friend up with one of them.
Anyway from there everything went black and I ‘woke up’ no where near where I was originally and I rang my friend at 130 in the morning to come and get me. She said I was not in a good place and that I wasn’t with it at all.
She took me home and I went to sleep, I woke up at 7 in the morning confused and in pain, I rang my boyfriend to come home ASAP because I felt like something bad had happened.
I was mad at him a little because we was meant to get a taxi home and when I looked at my call logs I had been trying to ring him loads through out the night but he had passed out at his friend and left me alone.
I felt vile so I went for a shower and I was covered in scratches and bruises some in some off places (although some of these may be from falling over drunk)
I was sat all day racking my brain as to what happened and I started piecing things together, I remember being in a field and I remember being very panicked. I started having a panic attack because I knew something had gone on because you know your own body I just didn’t know exactly what went on.
Luckily I had followed one of the boys I was sat with on Instagram so I messaged him and asked him if he knew how I got home he said me him and his mate let’s call him Jack we’re left sat outside the pub until about 1 in the morning, he booked a taxi and then so did I, his came before mine and that his mate Jack insisted he would wait with me for my taxi and so he left.
I asked him had there been any flirting or anything with his friend Jack and he said no there was nothing he had noticed we had all just been having a chat like you do when you’ve had a drink. I asked this because at this point I’m now second guessing myself had I lead him on maybe? was I mad with my boyfriend so I lashed out ? It was really unlike me to be like that but after to much to drink maybe I acted stupidly, but then he confirmed there was no flirting so it made me stop questioning myself as much.
Although this conversation helped me stop second guessing myself a little it didn’t really answer, why I felt this way and how I ended up in a field, alone, confused and upset at 130 in the morning.
I did check my call log and I had rang a taxi so I was obviously planning on taking myself off home, but why didn’t I?
I messaged Jack and asked him, he said he decided to take me to a field to have a ‘chat’ (WHY??) and we had a little kiss ‘he didn’t know I had a boyfriend’ but i defo remember mentioning my boyfriend earlier in the night. So this answers why I remember being in a field but why? why did he decide to take me to a field when I had ordered a taxi? He also said his memory was hazy but knew where we went and that we had ‘kissed’ (I feel like more happened but I don’t know what)
So then I asked him why I ended up in afield as I checked my phone location so knew the area I was near and I said to him I didn’t remember anything and that I didn’t get why I was far away from the pub and why was I alone and he never replied to my message.
His first response and him then not responding when I started asking more in depth questions is seriously making me worry and think that he saw how drunk I was and decided to take advantage of this.
I know people may think it’s my own fault for getting so drunk but I did check my bank account and I didn’t spend that much and my friend said I seemed really spaced out so maybe something was added to a drink that was bought for me? As I do go out a lot and I can drink a fair bit so for me to get that spaced and blacked out is rare. Was it pre planned by him? Idk and tbh I don’t want to think it was because it makes it all seem a lot worse.
I really don’t want to point fingers and act like a victim because like I said I don’t remember a lot towards the back end of the night but something is not sitting right with me and with how shady he is acting.
I have explained everything to my boyfriend and apologised and we are moving passed it so this is not me trying to ‘get out of cheating’ It’s just still not settling in my head, I’m struggling to sleep and I’m on edge all the time, feeling constantly anxious and stressed out.
I know I’m never going to get the full answers as to what happened but I was wondering if anything like this had happened to anyone else and if so how did you get passed it? I’m really struggling with it and I need any help or advice I can get as I really don’t want to tell my family.
I went to the pub with mates. We was all having a lot to drink and celebrating England winning.
My female friend left at about 8 and I was left with a few lads from work, but we had started talking to another group of lads because we was messing around and trying to set my friend up with one of them.
Anyway from there everything went black and I ‘woke up’ no where near where I was originally and I rang my friend at 130 in the morning to come and get me. She said I was not in a good place and that I wasn’t with it at all.
She took me home and I went to sleep, I woke up at 7 in the morning confused and in pain, I rang my boyfriend to come home ASAP because I felt like something bad had happened.
I was mad at him a little because we was meant to get a taxi home and when I looked at my call logs I had been trying to ring him loads through out the night but he had passed out at his friend and left me alone.
I felt vile so I went for a shower and I was covered in scratches and bruises some in some off places (although some of these may be from falling over drunk)
I was sat all day racking my brain as to what happened and I started piecing things together, I remember being in a field and I remember being very panicked. I started having a panic attack because I knew something had gone on because you know your own body I just didn’t know exactly what went on.
Luckily I had followed one of the boys I was sat with on Instagram so I messaged him and asked him if he knew how I got home he said me him and his mate let’s call him Jack we’re left sat outside the pub until about 1 in the morning, he booked a taxi and then so did I, his came before mine and that his mate Jack insisted he would wait with me for my taxi and so he left.
I asked him had there been any flirting or anything with his friend Jack and he said no there was nothing he had noticed we had all just been having a chat like you do when you’ve had a drink. I asked this because at this point I’m now second guessing myself had I lead him on maybe? was I mad with my boyfriend so I lashed out ? It was really unlike me to be like that but after to much to drink maybe I acted stupidly, but then he confirmed there was no flirting so it made me stop questioning myself as much.
Although this conversation helped me stop second guessing myself a little it didn’t really answer, why I felt this way and how I ended up in a field, alone, confused and upset at 130 in the morning.
I did check my call log and I had rang a taxi so I was obviously planning on taking myself off home, but why didn’t I?
I messaged Jack and asked him, he said he decided to take me to a field to have a ‘chat’ (WHY??) and we had a little kiss ‘he didn’t know I had a boyfriend’ but i defo remember mentioning my boyfriend earlier in the night. So this answers why I remember being in a field but why? why did he decide to take me to a field when I had ordered a taxi? He also said his memory was hazy but knew where we went and that we had ‘kissed’ (I feel like more happened but I don’t know what)
So then I asked him why I ended up in afield as I checked my phone location so knew the area I was near and I said to him I didn’t remember anything and that I didn’t get why I was far away from the pub and why was I alone and he never replied to my message.
His first response and him then not responding when I started asking more in depth questions is seriously making me worry and think that he saw how drunk I was and decided to take advantage of this.
I know people may think it’s my own fault for getting so drunk but I did check my bank account and I didn’t spend that much and my friend said I seemed really spaced out so maybe something was added to a drink that was bought for me? As I do go out a lot and I can drink a fair bit so for me to get that spaced and blacked out is rare. Was it pre planned by him? Idk and tbh I don’t want to think it was because it makes it all seem a lot worse.
I really don’t want to point fingers and act like a victim because like I said I don’t remember a lot towards the back end of the night but something is not sitting right with me and with how shady he is acting.
I have explained everything to my boyfriend and apologised and we are moving passed it so this is not me trying to ‘get out of cheating’ It’s just still not settling in my head, I’m struggling to sleep and I’m on edge all the time, feeling constantly anxious and stressed out.
I know I’m never going to get the full answers as to what happened but I was wondering if anything like this had happened to anyone else and if so how did you get passed it? I’m really struggling with it and I need any help or advice I can get as I really don’t want to tell my family.