I trigger my therapist

[Unknown 123]

Every time I try to go for counselling or talk therapy I somehow manage to trigger the therapist. They don’t say anything but I can sense it. It’s hard enough for me to ask for help but then I feel like no one understands so what’s the point. At least the free ones because I can’t afford a specialist one. I switch between faking confidence to feeling panicky and anxious. And this seems to confuse people because they seem to think you should only act one type of way. When I have been brought up with parents that both rejected me and I had to act in different ways to please them both and ensure that my needs are would get met. So yes I have different personalities but that is the case with everyone. Except most people fake being nice in public and let out their bad moods behind closed doors. So sick of this

 

[Movingforward10]

Sorry for what you have been through.

What do your therapists do that make you think you trigger them? Have to spoken to them about it? It might be a good idea to explore it with them?

 

[somerandomguy]

They don’t say anything but I can sense it.

Sounds like mind reading to me, honestly.

I agree with @Movingforward10. If you suspect something is going on with your therapist, it's worth bringing it up with them.

 

[Muttly]

Definitely something worth exploring with your therapist. And if you do trigger your therapist, that's not really your responsibility. Therapists learn how to take care of themselves. They have oversight or their own therapists to help them. It's not your job to manage your therapist's comfort level or emotions.

 

[Mach123]

I was just writing about this after my last session lol. My therapist “yells at me”. I actually like it because it’s a man woman thing. I had to say it again this week and I made her laugh I love that. She gets triggered and yells at me. Then I’ll be explaining something and parsing my words and she goes “just say it”, and I’m like when I do that you start yelling, lol.

 

[Taylor27]

If you think it would help maybe ask your therapist what triggers them when you talk. I think that would start up a good conservation and maybe help the both of you. I too felt stuck with many therapist for years. Now that I have a good therapist I know to ask questions is allowed in therapy. If she does not respond to your question or makes you feel uncomfortable please find someone else. Therapy is about you.

 

[woodsy1]

Every time I try to go for counselling or talk therapy I somehow manage to trigger the therapist. They don’t say anything but I can sense it. It’s hard enough for me to ask for help but then I feel like no one understands so what’s the point. At least the free ones because I can’t afford a specialist one. I switch between faking confidence to feeling panicky and anxious. And this seems to confuse people because they seem to think you should only act one type of way. When I have been brought up with parents that both rejected me and I had to act in different ways to please them both and ensure that my needs are would get met. So yes I have different personalities but that is the case with everyone. Except most people fake being nice in public and let out their bad moods behind closed doors. So sick of this

How horrible that you grew up with parents that both rejected you. They should have been the ones showing you what love and acceptance looks like. You have suffered a great loss and it is right for you to be angry.

I say let it out in a constructive way that doesn't harm others. It's ok to be angry at loss. That's the purpose of our emotion of anger, to let us know we've been wronged.

It took me a long time to just be honest with myself about who I am. I may not like every aspect of that identity, but the more I am honest about it, the more peace I have with it.

I have experienced rejection from most the people in my life who should have shown me acceptance and helped me to be comfortable with who I am. In my case, I can thankfully say that my mom was an exception to that rule. It is only because of her that I know what real love looks like.

Here you will find people who will accept you for who you are, people who know what inexplicable pain and rejection feels like. Feel free to share your burdens here. Many folks will come alongside and help you bear the load.

Hang in there, not everyone is like your parents. And what your parents said about you by their rejection does not define you.

A fellow sufferer,
Woodsy

 

[Grimelda]

I triggered a counselor when I left for a trained trauma therapist with PhD credentials. Her responses to me were unprofessional, hidden from her supervisor by deleting the "forward" email address to her work email to her home, where she could ask questions she should not have (and at 3 AM). She discouraged me from making a change. Bottom line..talk therapy doesn't heal trauma (C-PTSD). My new therapist was great at helping me understand how and why I was taking responsibility for the counselor's responses. Ya gotta row your own boat..and if another makes you feel like you gotta help them row their boat, you're going to fall in the lake trying. If you have C-PTST find a trauma informed therapist, have goals, and only continue if you are making progress.