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I was orphaned before i turned six and still long for parents

Discussion in 'Death' started by Taylormade73, Jul 1, 2018.

  1. Taylormade73

    Taylormade73 New Member

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    Both my dad, and my mom past away when I was very young, my dad died of a heart attack and three years later my mom died of cancer..I was six. My five older brothers and I were separated And I became a ward of the state being shuffled from one family to the next until I was 18. Throughout that Time I was abused repeatedly except for a short time when I was about 11 and I lived with a family who was pretty good to me but that didn’t last very long because my foster dad died of a drug over dose and my foster mom couldn’t take care of me in addition to her own kid so I was sent away again. I’m now 44 and I still long for parents....not necessarily mine, but just anyone. It really makes me angry with myself that I can’t just let it go.
     
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  3. PURUSHA

    PURUSHA I'm a VIP

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    @Taylormade73 thats extremely tough and painful... to have that deep longing for a parent is human and its not something which goes away “just because we grow up“. Its a profound challenge to process these feelings...
     
    Taylormade73 likes this.
  4. Taylormade73

    Taylormade73 New Member

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    I work with the elderly and it surprises me how many of them still miss their mom or dad... I just wish it would go away. I don’t want to be 80 or 90 and still thinking about this stuff all the time.
     
    PURUSHA likes this.
  5. PURUSHA

    PURUSHA I'm a VIP

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    Yes...
    The denial to realize that there are deep cut wounds is normal but at some point if one wants to heal there is no other way than facing them. Trying to control or ignore creates illness. Acknowledging one's own suffering and pain is hard but thats the beginning
     
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  6. Taylormade73

    Taylormade73 New Member

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    Do u ever get angry with yourself for not being able to get over your past? For me most of it happened so long ago. I know that logically the only way through it is to deal with it head on but but I feel like I’m just complaining
     
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  7. PURUSHA

    PURUSHA I'm a VIP

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    Yes, the Anger is normal too... I judge myself when emotions overwhelm me at times, although with Therapy and support I can come back to a state where its OK to be with the pain. Yes, easily said than done... the rationalizing of traumatic events (Which again is OK to Do) is a way of dealing with it, unfortunately in the long run if I keep telling myself that the past is the past and let bygones be bygones I am not making the step to dig into emotional layers of pain which needs to be done if I want to overcome
     
    Fadeaway likes this.
  8. Rumors

    Rumors I'm a VIP

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    Are you close with your other siblings?
     
  9. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

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    I understand the longing for parents, especially a mother. I have written about the same feelings. I just want the craving to go away. You aren't alone, many people on my thread expressed the same desire. I think a group brainstorming might be a good idea.
     
  10. Taylormade73

    Taylormade73 New Member

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    My siblings and I are fairly close, but at the same time there is still alot of disconnect. We dont talk about the past much especially with me and my youngest brother.. Hes 2 yrs older then me and we experienced alot of the same abuse growing up...the older boys cant relate because they could pretty much take care of themselves

    Brainstorming sounds like an interesting idea
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2018
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