Ideas for Holiday self care

Invisible Fire

Halloween starts the holiday season for me. Like for many it is filled with triggers and with lots of stress which causes my PTSD cup to overflow. I am wanting to put together a plan to stay balanced this year. I have came so far and with all of the extra stress of the world today I don't want to lose where I am. Or maybe I need to be prepared to feel off balanced and not beat myself up for it. Just curious if anyone has any ideas or already have plans of how to make it through the next 2 months?

Invisible Fire

Yes that is a good idea. I was reading some of the similar posts, ones about the holidays. One of the things I need to get building and working on is boundaries. I tend to not want to cause trouble so I go along.
Some of my trauma is focused around the holidays, most all of it on family gatherings. It is something I have learned about PTSD. I have been called a Scrooge and such around the holidays. I see now the avoidance behaviors and the anxiety that go hand and hand with many things.

@Friday I read where you wrote comparing diabetes and PTSD. I have thought of that comparison before. And with the holidays there are lots of sugar and foods. I am at a point of my PTSD being managed. Part of me believes if I can get through the holidays and manage symptoms it will prove something.
I also worry I’m already a bit dysregulated. I caught it yesterday. Planning on going to the gym, learning a new subject, finding books to read, going to go on a diet and so on. If I read a new book or not eat pizza I’ll be ok. As I run in circles searching for peace. And I look in the mirror and have no idea who I am or what I want.
I read somewhere once of a man who kept running from the shadow that chased him. It wasn’t until he sat under the tree to rest that his shadow left him alone. Sorry for the ramble


Hi @Invisible Fire, Holidays can definately be a trigger and there's the stress if you've a family to 'provide' or 'take part'. I think that the things you listed are a good idea. Having a back up plan and looking after yourself is key. It's not about being selfish but 'we' have to protect ourselves because 9times out of ten, other people won't because they rarely understand what it's like for us. If you can get through it without ' losing your shit' then your winning! 😊 hope your ok.


I tend to not want to cause trouble so I go along.
Me too. Sometimes, though, picking one's battles is necessary for navigation of difficult situations. I wouldn't judge yourself too harshly on that one -- nearly every person on the planet does it to some degree.

The holidays are hard. It's easy to get out of sorts during the pandemic, during the holidays. Maybe write down some specific goals for the holidays and choose only 3-5 to actually accomplish? And then try to keep your eyes on those? You don't have to do perfectly or even well in every holiday endeavor. I have to do things of this nature often when my head wants to do 10,000 things to keep from sitting and feeling, which means I do it a lot. It works out better than actually trying to go in the direction of all 10,000 things which is my natural inclination.

Best of luck!


Early on, when I left the dysfunctionals, I decided I couldn't stay in this house. I needed to be somewhere else on Thanksgiving (a friend) and Christmas (distant cousins). Both places had what I was looking for, primarily non-alcoholic/no drugs or drug users (that means in my world one glass of wine, maximum) respectfulness, tradition, standard turkey meal, and the people in attendance can and do get along. I had decided I'd never waste any more holidays with people who didn't care about getting along. Non-dramatic holidays was what I was shooting for.

The first year, was the worst year, because it was new-a change. But there was no drama, no criticism, no irritation of any kind, and everyone got along.......this was moving in the direction I personally wanted to head. Something that resembled a happy holiday. It also felt a little boring at it was missing something (drama and negativity).

So, I've spent the last 2 years celebrating this way and it is great. I take a farm raised turkey to my friend's father's home (God forbid I work in the kitchen on Thanksgiving-their family has this all arranged so I don't even bother to step up and try), but gifts, games and sweets are welcomed so I do that. I find I need to do my part....not just show up and sit down to eat. I'm not PTSD symptomatic anymore when I leave my home and go for a holiday, because I expect it to be a pleasant day....cause I picked more boring/mundane generally happy people to spend the holiday with, and who seem content with themselves and each other. Spending time with my cousins, I get to do all the cooking and bring a turkey and I love to cook a big's their only turkey dinner in a that makes me feel good....and they are appreciative and never critical. The only difference this year is that I'll get a Covid test and seclude till I get the results, before getting in the car to go visiting.