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Ideas Of An Insomniac

Discussion in 'Sleep & Nightmares' started by Finchlet2, Feb 6, 2017.

  1. Finchlet2

    Finchlet2 Active Member

    And gone are the three f*cking fabulous night's of blue cheese and sleep as the penny pinching prison burn returns along with the usual relentless insomnia. Initially I get angry shakes, cry and wanna break shit, secondly I'm suffocated by my darkest fears which at the moment mostly seem to revolve around my next police interview looming on the 21st of this month. I wanna do this interview about as much as I wanna f*ck Donald trump cos there's nothing I want less than to be responsible for anyone losing their freedom even if they were largely responsible for the years of torture (I'm giving that word the full respect it deserves ) I endured growing up. But my abusers have me in check mate, they have my little girl and the only way I can protect her is to trowel through decade's of medical evidence with the cops whilst internally begging for spontanius death on the spot and hopefully have her C.P.O.'d and safe. Thirdly, well thanks to trusty old reliable insomnia i have all night to tell you about thirdly.

    I guess thirdly is a similar principle to sword swallowing; the sword remains a deadly weapon and yet is able to be swallowed without slitting the throught and insomnia reaches a point where I can swallow these fears without constricting my throught and actually think about shit I want to think about it. My perfect boy has barely any movement on the left side of his body and laboured movement on his right. He finds a great deal of comfort in me massaging him and that has inspired me to plan to set up a group offering theraputic massage to children with movement restrictive disabilities. However I am aware of how widespread an issue movement restrictive disabilities are and how it rranges from hard to impossible for families of children with these disabilities to travel for treatments (especially as I wish this group to reach as far as developing countries such as Ghana whose disabled children are often murdered or abused and neglected rather than helped) So I have no intention of starting this project in a stationery building as I intend to do the travelling myself (and the long suffering hubby when I fill him in in the morning with most marriages I guess its the other way round lol) and to reach in person all the children that would benefit from this free service and for that I need a f*cking bus; four f*cking wheels (although personally I make it five including the steering wheel) and a f*cking seat.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2017
    Friday, NoWhereKnowWhere and ladee like this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    Insomnia does have a way of breaking down walls, doesn't it? Dangerous when it breaks down the walls between fiction & reality, but useful when it breaks down the walls that get in my way.

    I think the idea of providing a mobile pediatric therapeutic massage focusing on movement disorders is a really brilliant one. Something that would allow you to set your own schedule, being in different villages different weeks, so you could have down time as needed for PTSD issues. All while reaching a very under served population. Although I don't know you'd need a bus, as you'd be treating clients in their homes, it would certainly make lodging simpler to have a bus/caravan.
    Finchlet likes this.
  4. Finchlet2

    Finchlet2 Active Member

    Thanks for your support @ Friday you legend but due to the fact I eventually want to reach children with movement restrictive disabilities in some of the most impoverished parts of the world I can't assume they have a home let alone one that's a condusive environment for relaxing enough for massage therapy to be effective hence the need for a bus. Even in developed countries it is not necessarily the case that these children will have a home and i am acutely aware of this after bringing my own children up on the streets for the first five years. A home is really hard to access in the first place let alone sustain for so many people worldwide.
    Friday likes this.
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