Still Standing
MyPTSD Pro
Being anxious about the possibility of having to move, as I was driving errands, today, I was thinking about NY's dense population and city with its tall buildings. Everything in me has my heels dug into the ground, so to speak. Then I thought about Seattle and how, even as a young kid, never liked being downtown. The buildings make me feel very unsafe. I have always been concerned that they are going to fall on me or bridges were going to collapse. I asked myself, why this would be. Instantly, my body went into panic mode...the heart thumping and feeling the need to run. Whaaaa'? Then I heard one work, "Earthquake". Oh my goodness!!!!!! I understood in that moment why the large cities cause me so much anxiety. I have lived through too many earthquakes, Washington state and California. I also had family that lived through Alaska's horrible earthquake in the '60's, which was very traumatic for everyone. While sitting at a red light, I had to work at swallowing the tears that welled up and flowed. The understanding of a very long-term fear overwhelmed me. Now I know why wandering through cities do not interest me and I avoid it at all costs. This is the first time that I have identified the source of a large trigger. I guess this is progress. Now to share this with my T....