Identity issues

And you are for sure positive, that even though her and I discussed three different times throughout our our long therapy session this example that I can only see the images of, and want to remember the verbiage, that some mode or part is basically refusing within seconds to minutes afterwards to let me remember the words spoken?
 
And you are for sure positive, that even though her and I discussed three different times throughout our our long therapy session this example that I can only see the images of, and want to remember the verbiage, that some mode or part is basically refusing within seconds to minutes afterwards to let me remember the words spoken?
Your frustration and confusion about the inability to remember the specific verbiage of an analogy despite discussing it multiple times throughout a lengthy therapy session with Heidi are understandable and valid. It is essential to recognize that memory inconsistencies, gaps, or disruptions in recalling traumatic material or therapeutic content can stem from a complex interplay of psychological, emotional, and neurobiological factors, including the influence of protective parts or modes within the internal system.

While discussing a topic repeatedly in therapy sessions can enhance memory consolidation and deep processing, the swift intervention of protective parts or modes to block access to specific verbal details or phrases is indeed a possibility, especially when facing triggers associated with trauma-related content or distressing memories. These protective mechanisms operate in real-time to regulate emotional experiences, control access to sensitive material, and shield the individual from overwhelming distress, even if this results in memory distortions or lapses in recall.

The presence of internal blocks or barriers that impede memory retrieval of certain verbal components while allowing visual and kinesthetic memories to surface highlights the intricate ways in which protective parts manage and engage with traumatic material within the internal system. By acknowledging the potential role of these protective mechanisms in influencing your memory processes, you can approach the exploration of memory gaps and challenges with a sense of curiosity, compassion, and openness to understanding the underlying motives and functions of these internal dynamics.

As you navigate the frustration of wanting to remember the verbiage of the analogy discussed with Heidi, it may be beneficial to address this experience in your next therapy session, sharing your observations, emotions, and reflections on the memory recall process. By collaboratively investigating the role of protective parts, emotional triggers, and cognitive defenses in shaping your memory experiences, you and Heidi can work towards fostering greater internal coherence, self-awareness, and integration of fragmented aspects of your internal system.

How do you feel about exploring the role of protective parts or modes in influencing your memory recall processes with Heidi, and what insights or reflections have emerged for you as you consider the complex interplay between memory encoding, emotional regulation, and traumatic triggers within your internal system?
 
So Heidi and I have done work on parts modes, and out of the almost 30 that we’ve identified none due what is being described, or I feel is like a brain block. And that brain bug is happening almost instantly. And I found that I had to read your last Statement, Primarily the second and third paragraphs, then I had to reread them multiple times. And now in writing this post I can’t remember them, so I have to keep going back to that second and third paragraphs. Is it possible that this part or mode is trying to, for a lack of a better word and as crazy as it sounds, hide? Or doesn’t want me to know about it? If that’s even a thing?
 
So Heidi and I have done work on parts modes, and out of the almost 30 that we’ve identified none due what is being described, or I feel is like a brain block. And that brain bug is happening almost instantly. And I found that I had to read your last Statement, Primarily the second and third paragraphs, then I had to reread them multiple times. And now in writing this post I can’t remember them, so I have to keep going back to that second and third paragraphs. Is it possible that this part or mode is trying to, for a lack of a better word and as crazy as it sounds, hide? Or doesn’t want me to know about it? If that’s even a thing?
It's commendable that you and Heidi have engaged in extensive work on identifying and understanding the various parts or modes within your internal system, even though none of the recognized parts seem to directly align with the experience of the immediate memory block or cognitive challenge you are encountering. The rapid occurrence of a brain block or the sense of information slipping away almost instantly, coupled with the need to repeatedly reread and retrieve specific details from previous messages, can indeed be distressing and raise questions about the underlying processes at play within your internal system.

The difficulty in retaining and accessing information, as well as the sensation of certain details slipping from memory shortly after reading or encountering them, may point towards potential disruptions in cognitive functioning, attention regulation, or information processing that could be influenced by various factors, including dissociation, overwhelm, or cognitive distortions. While it may seem perplexing that none of the identified parts appear to align with this specific experience, it is important to remain open to the possibility that there may be underlying mechanisms or dynamics operating at a subtler level within your internal system.

The notion of a part or mode attempting to "hide" or resist being known or acknowledged is not uncommon in the realm of internal systems, as protective mechanisms may manifest in subtle, covert ways to maintain control, avoid vulnerability, or shield the individual from distressing truths or emotions. The concept of concealment or resistance within the internal landscape, even if not clearly categorized as a distinct part, can still play a significant role in shaping the individual's perceptions, beliefs, and sense of self-protection.

In considering the possibility of a part or mode exerting influence over your cognitive processes or memory functions in a way that feels elusive or obstructive, it could be valuable to explore this phenomenon further with Heidi in your therapy sessions. By articulating your observations, reactions, and inquiries about this potential hiding or protective dynamic operating within your internal system, you and Heidi can delve deeper into uncovering the underlying motives, needs, and messages that may be embedded within this experience of cognitive struggle and memory challenges.

How do you feel about sharing your reflections on the perceived resistance or hiding behavior of this elusive part or mode with Heidi, and what insights or hypotheses do you hold about the underlying intentions or functions of this phenomenon in relation to your cognitive processes and memory retrieval difficulties?
 
All of that is terrifying. How does the book assist in understanding a part or mode that potentially blocks memory?
I empathize with the fear and apprehension you may be experiencing as you navigate the complexities of internal systems, memory challenges, and the potential presence of a part or mode that seems to block or interfere with your cognitive processes. It is understandable that delving into these intricate dynamics within the internal landscape can evoke feelings of uncertainty, vulnerability, and discomfort. In this context, utilizing resources such as books and literature can offer valuable insights, perspectives, and tools to deepen your understanding of internal systems, trauma-related phenomena, and therapeutic approaches that may be relevant to your experiences.

Books that focus on internal family systems (IFS) therapy, parts work, trauma recovery, or memory processing can provide a framework for exploring the diverse facets of the psyche, understanding the roles and functions of different parts or modes, and addressing the complexities of memory encoding, retrieval, and integration within the context of trauma healing. By engaging with these resources, you can gain clarity, validation, and guidance on how to navigate the nuances of internal dynamics, communication between parts, and the ways in which protective mechanisms influence memory recall and cognitive functioning.

Specifically, books that delve into the principles of internal family systems therapy, such as "Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life" by Tom Holmes and Lauri Holmes, or "Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy" by Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss, may offer practical strategies, exercises, and case examples to support your exploration of internal parts, modes, and potential barriers to memory processing. These resources can illuminate the interconnected nature of the psyche, the ways in which parts interact and influence each other, and the significance of fostering self-compassion, curiosity, and collaboration within your internal system.

By engaging with books that delve into the complexities of internal systems and parts work, you can expand your knowledge base, deepen your self-awareness, and cultivate a greater understanding of how protective mechanisms, hidden aspects, and memory blocks may manifest within the context of trauma recovery and therapy. How do you feel about exploring these resources to gain additional insights and perspectives on understanding and navigating the potential role of a blocking part or mode within your internal system, and what aspects of this exploration resonate with your current therapeutic journey and self-discovery process?
 
I apologize let me rephrase, All of that is terrifying. How does Janine fishers book assist in understanding a part or mode that potentially blocks memory?
 
I apologize let me rephrase, All of that is terrifying. How does Janine fishers book assist in understanding a part or mode that potentially blocks memory?
Janine Fisher's book, "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation" offers a comprehensive and insightful exploration of the impact of trauma on the self-system, the formation of protective parts and states, and the strategies for fostering self-compassion, integration, and resilience in trauma recovery. Fisher's approach, based on the Structural Dissociation model, delves into the intricate dynamics of internal systems and the fragmentation of the self in response to overwhelming experiences, including how protective parts or states may function to regulate affect, memory, and perception.

In Fisher's work, she elucidates how trauma survivors may develop a complex network of dissociative parts, each with its unique roles, functions, and survival strategies, to cope with the effects of trauma and maintain a sense of psychological equilibrium. These parts or states, which could potentially include those involved in memory blocking, amnesia, or cognitive disruptions, serve as adaptive responses to threat, distress, and unresolved trauma, seeking to shield the individual from re-experiencing overwhelming emotions, sensations, or memories associated with past traumatic events.

By engaging with Fisher's conceptual framework and therapeutic interventions, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of how protective parts emerge within the internal system, influence memory processing, and impact the individual's capacity to integrate fragmented aspects of the self. Fisher's approach emphasizes the importance of creating a collaborative, compassionate relationship with these protective parts, acknowledging their protective functions, and working towards fostering internal communication, connection, and coherence to support healing and integration.

Through Fisher's book, readers can explore practical strategies, case examples, and therapeutic techniques aimed at unraveling the complexity of internal systems, addressing the barriers to memory retrieval, and cultivating a sense of safety, trust, and empowerment within the therapeutic process. By weaving together insights from trauma theory, dissociation research, and clinical practice, Fisher offers a roadmap for trauma survivors to navigate the terrain of internal fragmentation, enhance self-understanding, and embark on a journey towards healing, wholeness, and self-reclamation.

How do you feel about delving into Janine Fisher's book to deepen your understanding of internal fragmentation, protective parts, and the potential mechanisms underlying memory blocks within the context of trauma recovery, and what aspects of Fisher's approach resonate with your experiences and therapeutic exploration?
 
I wonder if this is part of the reason her and I have not really identified any “protective“ parts or modes? We really only identified like one that is for certain protective. Maybe two. I would have to look back on my notes. I do though recall her saying there is usually is more. Would it be fair to say that maybe I have some modes that are operating as protective but also protecting themselves? Like from discovery?
 
I wonder if this is part of the reason her and I have not really identified any “protective“ parts or modes? We really only identified like one that is for certain protective. Maybe two. I would have to look back on my notes. I do though recall her saying there is usually is more. Would it be fair to say that maybe I have some modes that are operating as protective but also protecting themselves? Like from discovery?
It's a significant observation that you and your therapist have identified only a limited number of parts or modes that are explicitly recognized as protective within your internal system, particularly if the typical expectation in trauma therapy is to encounter a broader array of protective mechanisms or entities. While recognizing one or two protective parts is a valuable starting point in your exploration, the presence of additional parts that may be operating covertly or concealing their protective functions from conscious awareness is a possibility worth considering.

In the context of internal systems and trauma recovery, some protective parts or modes may indeed exhibit a tendency to safeguard themselves from detection, exploration, or integration into the individual's awareness, often as a means of preserving their role in shielding the individual from distress, vulnerability, or reactivation of traumatic memories and emotions. These parts, which may operate with a heightened sense of secrecy, autonomy, or self-protection, could manifest as elusive, resistant, or hidden aspects within the internal landscape, seeking to maintain control over their protective functions and avoid potential disruptions or intrusions that could arise from being fully acknowledged or understood.

The idea that certain parts or modes within your internal system may be serving dual roles as protective mechanisms while also safeguarding themselves from being discovered or unraveled aligns with the complexities of internal fragmentation, dissociation, and the layered nature of trauma responses. By considering the possibility that hidden or self-protective modes are in operation within your internal system, you and your therapist can explore strategies, interventions, and therapeutic techniques aimed at promoting internal communication, trust-building, and collaboration with these guarded aspects to facilitate deeper understanding, connection, and integration.

Reflecting on your therapeutic journey and the dynamics within your internal system, how do you perceive the presence of potentially concealed or self-protective modes that may be operating within your internal landscape, and what insights or reflections does this perspective evoke in relation to your ongoing exploration of protective mechanisms, memory processing, and trauma recovery with your therapist?
 
This is just… weird, bizarre, completely ridiculous in its own way, exhausting, implausible. How on earth could my brain be hiding things from me and also hiding itself especially if I want to remember something? Ugh… 😑 too much to handle. This idea is just… it … I don’t even know how to think or feel about this. It just seems completely and totally irrational and logical and downright friggin crazy. How is it even fathomable, how is that even accepted, that a portion, apart, a mode, a state is literally ripping things out out of your memory within seconds 10 minutes of you hearing them? And now only doing it once but multiple times in the course of a very short period of time? I just don’t know what to think about that or buy more think about it at all it’s just almost too much.
 
This is just… weird, bizarre, completely ridiculous in its own way, exhausting, implausible. How on earth could my brain be hiding things from me and also hiding itself especially if I want to remember something? Ugh… 😑 too much to handle. This idea is just… it … I don’t even know how to think or feel about this. It just seems completely and totally irrational and logical and downright friggin crazy. How is it even fathomable, how is that even accepted, that a portion, apart, a mode, a state is literally ripping things out out of your memory within seconds 10 minutes of you hearing them? And now only doing it once but multiple times in the course of a very short period of time? I just don’t know what to think about that or buy more think about it at all it’s just almost too much.
I hear you, @Darkness Reborn. It's completely understandable that contemplating the idea of parts or modes within your own mind actively concealing or altering memories can feel overwhelming, surreal, and even disconcerting. The notion that certain aspects of your internal system might be operating in ways that seem counterintuitive, perplexing, or beyond immediate comprehension can indeed challenge our sense of coherence, logic, and rationality, especially when it comes to memory processes and cognitive functioning.

When faced with the concept of protective parts or modes exerting influence over memory retrieval, integration, or suppression, it's natural to harbor doubts, skepticism, or disbelief regarding the plausibility of such mechanisms within the psyche. The experience of encountering gaps, inconsistencies, or distortions in memory recall, particularly in moments of heightened distress, emotional activation, or cognitive overload, can evoke a sense of unease, confusion, and resistance to accepting the presence of internal processes that appear elusive, enigmatic, or at odds with our conscious intentions and desires.

Exploring the complexity of internal systems, trauma-related responses, and the ways in which protective parts or modes influence memory encoding and retrieval involves engaging with layers of psychological, emotional, and experiential material that may challenge conventional notions of memory formation and accessibility. By acknowledging the multifaceted nature of trauma-based memory disturbances, including the potential role of protective mechanisms in altering, blocking, or fragmenting certain aspects of memory content, we are invited to navigate the intricate terrain of the mind with patience, curiosity, and openness to exploring the nuances of internal dynamics that shape our perceptual experiences, cognitive processes, and emotional responses.

Given the intensity of your reaction to the notion of parts or modes impacting memory recall and the internal struggle to reconcile this concept with your cognitive framework and emotional landscape, how do you feel about sitting with these conflicting thoughts, emotions, and uncertainties that arise from contemplating the complexities of internal systems and memory processing within the context of trauma recovery? What support, validation, or clarification would be helpful for you as you navigate these overwhelming and perplexing dimensions of your inner world?
 
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