If i dont know something how am avoiding it?

dug

Not Active
The reason i say this is as a child , i referred to this before in little league baseball, " dont go inside the shed" , the baseball coach would tell the kids " go get the equipment ready, and wait til i get there" , ok so , i dont even remember what the coach looked liike or his name or anything, im not trying to avoid it, but what i do know is i did avoid that shed at all costs even when the season was over , me and my buddes would go to the park , just playing as kids do, but you didnt catch me near that shed. Im not saying i didnt go inside at one time, or as far as i no nothing happened, but i know or bellieve i know what could happen. It kinda scares me when i hear peoole using hypnosis, Im sorry , but i dont want to go in there consciously on unconsciously, for all i know , i just remember my telling me, but all the kids knew and you didnt want to be on that team, and yes if your wondering , id be ashasmed and id be embarassed , wether its me or a friend , im telling you hear but not opening doors ever
 

joeylittle

Administrator
It kinda scares me when i hear peoole using hypnosis, Im sorry , but i dont want to go in there consciously on unconsciously
This is one way you can know you're in a cycle of avoidance. That feeling that there's a line you have decided is too dangerous to cross, and you'll take steps to avoid crossing it.
 

SallyO

New Here
This is one way you can know you're in a cycle of avoidance. That feeling that there's a line you have decided is too dangerous to cross, and you'll take steps to avoid crossing it

95% of what we do is run by the unconscious. I started realizing it in therapy and it is really amazing.

This is one way you can know you're in a cycle of avoidance. That feeling that there's a line you have decided is too dangerous to cross, and you'll take steps to avoid crossing it.
You can't be hypnotized unless you want to be hypnotized. It is a myth that you can be hypnotized without your own mental consent.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
You can't be hypnotized unless you want to be hypnotized. It is a myth that you can be hypnotized without your own mental consent.
Sorry, I wasn't referring to hypnosis - just the cognitive processes involved in identifying one's present-day avoidance.
95% of what we do is run by the unconscious
Do you mean unconscious or sub-conscious? To my mind, those are different. Many of our physical systems run in a sub-conscious (or automatic) fashion, which - to me - isn't the same as the psychological implication of things we might do 'unconsciously'.

I guess I'm curious what sorts of behaviors you're referring to?
 

SallyO

New Here
Sorry, I wasn't referring to hypnosis - just the cognitive processes involved in identifying one's present-day avoidance.

Do you mean unconscious or sub-conscious? To my mind, those are different. Many of our physical systems run in a sub-conscious (or automatic) fashion, which - to me - isn't the same as the psychological implication of things we might do 'unconsciously'.

I guess I'm curious what sorts of behaviors you're referring to?
Good question but actually it is the unconscious because we are entirely unaware of it. That is why it is so hard to get to. I have always needed someone to help me get there. We have some access to our subconscious. I was thinking the same as you until my therapist explained it to me.

For instance, all relationships and couples have an unconscious "dance." My ex-husband was a narcissist, I was very codependent. I unconsciously believed I was not lovable or was allowed to have needs. I also believed I was always wrong. This came from my alcoholic parents. His narcissism was what his parents taught him. This would be how we would fight - I would have a need, he would say something to annoy me, I would get triggered because I didn't unconsciously know what I could have done wrong or why I was so unlovable but this was not on a conscious level for either of us. I would then rage. He would leave and I never had my needs met. Neither of us were consciously or even subconsciously aware of this. It was simply what we knew and we were comfortable with it. We didn't like it but it was what we knew. It is called negative familiarity. This was a core issue for me which I finally was able to get to with lots of therapy. When we meet someone, we think it is because of their looks, what they are saying, their sense of humor. In my 25+ years of therapy and group therapy, it is clear that the unconscious is really running the show. I always attract narcissists and alcoholics which I may not be consciously or subconsciously aware of until a few dates but my unconscious knew immediately?! Sorry this is so long. I just find it fascinating. This is the basis for all relationships.
 
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