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I'm Back - Fell Apart, Picked Myself Up, and Good To Go Again

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by GR-ass, Jul 5, 2007.

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  1. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I dissapeared on y'all. :poke:

    Life has actually been looking up. Me and my sweety have hit the six month mark :smile: it's going pretty well, haven't done anything *yet* to screw it up. Not that I would have a self destructive streak, noooo (sarcasm there guys).

    I am employed (have been working for three weeks- about 32 hours a week) at one of the local nursing homes. I work in the SCU (special care unit) I'm the only staff member on with 10 dementia residents (well, 9 and one who is elderly and mentally ill).
    I'm enjoying it. The first week and a half was so hard though (and when I do a floating shift where I can be put anywhere, it throws my routine out and throws me into a tizzy) but I am coping.
    For some reason I am able to deal a lot more with the residents then I am with the other staff. Not that I think I have a problem with anyone, I just find that I am having trouble connecting with them, kind of like a person with bad depth perception trying to put a peg in a hole, they often miss.

    Hmms, what else. I am still living at mums (and with bro dearest :gunem-dow ) but I only have to stick it out another month and a half before I can apply for a place and have a hope in hell of getting it.

    Hmms, what else LOL- the rattie girls are going good, Whisp is still having breathing issues, but we're geting through the winter.

    The panic attacks, the flashbacks, uncertainty and paranoia are all still here, but I deal with it all moment to moment. I have decided (and started to implement) the fact that PTSD can't control my life.

    I was barely surviving before. Now, well, I don't know if it is that I am more accepting of it, or if I have grown up enough not to whine bitch and complain about how it isn't fair, or hell, even just healed that little bit more, but I am getting there.

    It may have taken me falling apart and reassessing my life yet again, but I did it. Now to keep on going.

    So, life is :kickass: and I just wanted to pop in and tell y'all that I am still alive and in more of one piece then I was when I dissapeared.
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Welcome back Gr'ass!

    I have sorely missed you! I'm glad to hear things are looking up and congrats on all the great news!

    can't wait to catch up more!


  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Cass, it sounds like you are doing wonderful and I am glad you have a job that it sounds like you enjoy. Being needed can go a long way. Keep up the wonderful work and so happy to hear your relationship is going strong. All wonderful news.
  5. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

    *hugs* you both with all my squishiness LOL

    I missed you guys lots, and Whoo I love life at the moment (ran into an old friend today, going joke is we should meet up more then every six months)
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Welcome back, GR'ass!!! Missed ya and wondered what happened to you. Glad to hear that life is going so good for you. Job, b/f, happiness...and you'll be getting your own place soon. As my kids say 'Cool beans!'

  7. kers

    kers I'm a VIP

    Yay! Glad you are back. We missed you. I am especially glad that you have a new positive outlook and a job you like. Makes all the difference, huh?

    welcome back!!
  8. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Good stuff Cass.... and welcome back.
  9. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

    LOL thanks guys

    and anthony *rofl* thanks for the very apt thread name change. Gosh I missed you guys a lot (I know, you didn't go anywhere, I just couldn't deal with the forum for a while)

    Had one of the EEN's scare the crap outa me the other day, triggered a panic attack. Once I calmed down, he got me talking about what had upset me. He's pretty cool, and felt bad when I explained about the PTSD (and he promises never ever to scare the shite outa me when I am in the linen closet) I kinda told him that this was his free pass LOL. After all, he didnt know about it. Now, well, he calls out once he hits the door.

    It's kinda nice to work with at least one person that understands about PTSD, and doesn't need me telling what not to do *sighs*

    Anyways, just finnished an eight hour shift LOL so appologies if I don't make a lot of sense (not that I make sense on the best of days).

    Oh, on a real up note, I finally got paid *faint* my poor bank account, it's never ever had that much in it at one time :hugs:

    anyways, I'll give y'all another *hugs* and I promise to get back to writing some more poetry *snuggles* lots.
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