im being verbally abused by my family

F

fLA

hi im florida and each day im slowly getting more and more agressive with each altercation. when i was 15 i spoke out about my abuse to a professional and she called dcf and the only thing it did was piss off my mom. she managed to lie her way out of it and turn it around on me. ive stopped reaching out to professionals and went back into silence. im constanly told im selfish, manipulative, lazy, a slob, a slut, whore, idiot, retard, stuipid, useless,etc.
now everytime i get angry i hurt myself, i dont know why
i cant tell if im taking the anger out on myself so i dont hurt anyone, punishing myself or both.
my parents constanly bicker and treat eachother toxic till one of them cries or threatens to leave and then they move on like it never happened. my step dad is a functioning alcoholic and my mom is bitter. i told her that my bio father molested me and she thinks im lying. i feel invalidated and alone.im not suicidal but im getting there. what do i do to cope. please help me
 

MrMoonlight

MyPTSD Pro
That is such a difficult place to be. So sorry you find yourself there. Finding out how to act or deal with someone like your mom can seem impossible. I found myself there with my mom...I use a little aggression at the beginning of each sentence...I found at least with my mom that when I show confidence it sucked hers away.

You are so strong, you can find your way.
 
F

fLA

That is such a difficult place to be. So sorry you find yourself there. Finding out how to act or deal with someone like your mom can seem impossible. I found myself there with my mom...I use a little aggression at the beginning of each sentence...I found at least with my mom that when I show confidence it sucked hers away.

You are so strong, you can find your way.
i found that reasoning and level-headedness doesnt work, and agression is responded to with violence.
she threatens to cut my health insurance and whenever she's mad she gives me the exact day countdown of when i turn 18. being nice doent work, being mean doesnt work, and being neutral doesn't work. she isolates me from the world and when i do get to have friends over shes cussed them out. she dangles my freedom in front of me like its a privilege. i have no phone and no money. she puts parental controls on everything. i feel 12 still and im almost an adult. shes sent me away on my birthday, Halloween, thanksgiving and 2 summers. i feel unsafe in my own home.
 

Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
I am really sorry you are dealing with that. It's super hard. Good job at reaching out here. For me, I put all my energy into making a plan to get out once I was old enough. It helped me focus on something beside what was going on in my life. I know that's not much to offer and really hard to do. Do you have coping skills besides self-injury you can use when things get hard? It may help to build up a wide range of coping skills.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I know what it's like to be abused by a family member, my dad was very abusive and it drove everyone mad. Can you make plans to move out? So sorry your going through this.
 
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