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"I'm in danger" - extended version

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siniang

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So, some sort of "I'm in danger" core belief is pretty typical for PTSD, as far as I understand. Many of you still, at one point or another, believe that a past abuser is coming for you, and similar versions.

Looking back, for quite a while I actually was totally expecting that *he* will wait for me and get me (for example on my way home) because (I thought) he thought that maybe I did actually recognize him or enough details after all (and hence put him in jeopardy of being found) or at least observe me (to make sure I don't) or maybe even come back to finish whatever he was trying to do.

With time, aka years, this faded, when nothing of the sort ever actually happened. But at the same time I developed a more vague, more general sense of being in danger/not being safe (as my T has pointed out -- because I never recognized it as such, I didn't make the connection and really actually still don't -- I don't feel like I'm "in actual danger" in the literal sense). Major health anxiety. Accidents. Ending up in random (mass) shootings. I've developed a very deep core belief where I'm absolutely convinced I'll die young.

But, I don't keep this reduced to myself. I have the same fears for my parents, my husband, and my pets.

This might just be my GAD speaking, hence I was wondering if anyone else experiences this "extended" sense of being in danger, which includes not only you but people close to you. Kind of like an extended version of "self".

And how you deal with this. Because THAT in particular is feeling like it's driving me insane. Mostly because I absolutely cannot logic it away.
 
I got older. This fear was extremely difficult to deal with. I just sort of realized I didn't have any control over that "big stuff.". I don't understand how I could possibly have survived this long nevermind anyone else. It's like after certain age you get to where a lot of people have passed away already? You forget about it even while thinking about it more often. It bothered me a lot when my kids were little.
 
deep core belief where I'm absolutely convinced I'll die young.

I did a quick search and couldn't find it but this belief can be a product of trauma/abuse. As a young person I did not expect to live into my 20's and then I learned this is actually a fairly common belief amongst victims.

It sounds like GAD? I had a friend in support group and we were all working on various issues but hers was deep concern about safety...the person in the parking lot had a knife, her ex was following her, etc. Turns out the knife wielder was a school kid cutting through the parking lot, the ex lived across the country and hadn't spoken to her in 8 yrs. My point is it became clear these were "manifestations" but the interesting thing is she was ignoring some current real issues going on. Almost like she manifested these to focus her anxiety but not have to deal with the current problem.

I felt a bit of this myself during my early time with my ex, I felt a bit paranoid and was looking all over for the cause including internally but the reality was my "issue" was pouring me coffee ;)

May not apply but thought I would share. Check out some literature on the "early demise" concept and trauma, I know when I read it it made a lot of sense and my feelings along those lines changed. Sometimes shining a light on things does a world of good.

Best,

Whirlwind
 
hence I was wondering if anyone else experiences this "extended" sense of being in danger, which includes not only you but people close to you. Kind of like an extended version of "self".

And how you deal with this.
Danger’s fine.
Fear is not.
Nor is acting like an idiot. (When in danger or in doubt? Run in circles, scream & shout.) Pass. ;)


I did a quick search and couldn't find it but this belief can be a product of trauma/abuse. As a young person I did not expect to live into my 20's and then I learned this is actually a fairly common belief amongst victims.
“Sense of impermanent future.”

It used to be on the symptom list for PTSD (DSMIV) but it’s been rolled up into the much broader category of Criterion C “Negative Alteration of Cognitions” which is he whole durn range of cognitive distortions & core beliefs, rather than individual examples... as well as dissociative symptoms (if the future isn’t “real”, in addition to believing in the foreshortened nature of it.)
 
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Look at me...ignoring my own thread yet again. I keep doing this :facepalm:

It's not that I'm constantly in fear - on the contrary, I don't even usually recognize it, consciously. I don't look over my literal and figurative shoulder all the time. I'm not constantly in paralyzed panic for my loved ones.

But it sneaks up on me.

I got older.
As a young person I did not expect to live into my 20's and then I learned this is actually a fairly common belief amongst victims.

For me it's gotten worse with age.

My initial trauma was at age 13. I was not afraid for my live or anything for that matter until my early 20s. That's also when my GAD took off, really.

Now I'm in my early 30s and somehow this is the age where I expect to not make it past it, mid-20s to mid-30s. Somehow I feel like if I make it to my 40s, I'll be fine.

And I have no explanation for this specific age range.

@Friday any insight on how to tackle this fear? Can't logic it away which is really frustrating.

I sometimes have days where I feel like it would be better to be alone as to not to extend my inevitable danger onto my loved ones. As in, somehow them being with me/in my life puts them in danger automatically (even if not directly at my hand, of course). Kind of like a shared Karma (fate?) of sorts.
 
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IDK if it might help any...

But you could ask yourself 2ish questions: What changes / What am I losing?
And: And then what?

Because stress of death, injuries and loss of others isn't about death etc, itself. It's about loss. In its many forms.

And the Then what Q helps think past the points of This is the eend.

Because even bad deaths, the end is not the main problem.
It's what comes before...
And who is left behind, and not being with.

ETA, connection keeps safe. Isolation IS easier to exploit. Not saying necessarily danger, some flying solo works. But more exploitable, yeah.
 
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