The last two nights the anxiety has been bad, but tonight it's horrific. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack any minute. I'm having so much happen, two possible moves, a trip, moving from my childhood home, family issues and I think this is an anniversary date of a rape. I also am back down to a weight that I was when I was raped last and I'm just really, really struggling. My T is also out for two weeks due to health issues and I haven't seen him in weeks because he switched practices. I can't breathe I can't think I can barely read. I wish I could just cry but I'm too anxious to do that too. Everything feels like a threat. I don't know what else to do I journaled listened to music and calming music, I'm scared to take a shower or bath bc I don't want to see my body. I want to curl up in a ball and give up. I hate this.