Childhood I'm trapped here

Alot of you guys seem to be worried about my home environment, and say i should reach out... ive tried but cps never helps me because they said its not bad enough, like because of when my mom hit me, i legally couldnt be counted as abuse because she was escalated, and it didnt leave any perminate marks...
This has been so stressful to me in the past and people are saying i just have to live with it and deal with it, theres nothing i can do..

It almost feels like when i reach out to cps to advocate for myself, they never belive me or take me for granted or whatever, at this point i truely never know what to do, ive tried everything!!!
God help me... god never listens to my cries for help..
I am only 14 and no adult in my life listens... either that or they ... make me uncomfy and or use me for gross nasty things and i cant do anything about it i am helpless
 

Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
Ok, not sure what country you are in, but sometimes with CPS it takes multiple reports before they can step in and do anything. You can also try talking to a school counselor. The sucky part, is it's probably not going to be an instant change. You are going to be stuck *for a while*. But you can keep advocating for a change. You can find trusted adults, it's just super hard when you're in a situation like yours.

In the mean time, what are things you can do to take care of yourself now. Are there safe spaces or activities that you can focus on to help give you some escape? You did really good finding this place. Keep looking online for resources.

Hang in there, a lot of us grew up in abusive situations. It's horrible and unfair but you can get out and your life can get better.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
is any consolation that it can be hard to find help as an adult, too. if only "getting help" was as easy as the many folks who suggest you, "just get help" imply. there is nothing justy about getting help.

have you tried reaching out to school counselors and/or officials? referrals can help open doors.

steadying support while you find your way, bunny lyn.
 

Sideways

Moderator
i legally couldnt be counted as abuse because she was escalated, and it didnt leave any perminate marks
Nup. Loads of types of assault don't leave marks and are actionable by police, as well as reason for CPS intervention.
no adult in my life listens
You were seeing a counsellor a month ago. You can talk to them about this more, and ask them for appropriate action in your jurisdiction?
 

joeylittle

Administrator
So, @LittleBunnyLyn - I'm going to be very straight with you, without tiptoeing up to it.

Last time you were on the board, I asked you this question:
You've mentioned in another thread that you've told your therapist about the abuse - and I think you said that they don't believe you. Can you say more about that?
It's the second time I've asked you to be more specific about what you are and are not telling your therapist.

You're on this board for a reason, and people are interested in hearing what you have to say. They are asking you questions because they want to better understand.

So: they are willing to listen and engage. You need to be willing to respond.
I am only 14 and no adult in my life listens... either that or they ... make me uncomfy and or use me for gross nasty things and i cant do anything about it i am helpless
What specifically are you telling your therapist? What do they say or do that tells you they aren't listening?
ive tried but cps never helps me because they said its not bad enough, like because of when my mom hit me, i legally couldnt be counted as abuse because she was escalated, and it didnt leave any perminate marks...
This has been so stressful to me in the past and people are saying i just have to live with it and deal with it, theres nothing i can do..
The most common reason this would happen? It would be that they suspect you're not telling the truth.

It's also possible that you haven't actually contacted them, what you're doing is telling us what you believe they would say to you. In fact, that's a very common thing that people in intensely stressful life circumstances will do - they know what the next step is, but they are afraid it'll fail and they will make their situation worse. So, they play it out in their minds and convince themselves they know how it's going to go wrong.

Is that what's happening for you?
 
B

Bodhi☆

Alot of you guys seem to be worried about my home environment, and say i should reach out... ive tried but cps never helps me because they said its not bad enough, like because of when my mom hit me, i legally couldnt be counted as abuse because she was escalated, and it didnt leave any perminate marks...
This has been so stressful to me in the past and people are saying i just have to live with it and deal with it, theres nothing i can do..

It almost feels like when i reach out to cps to advocate for myself, they never belive me or take me for granted or whatever, at this point i truely never know what to do, ive tried everything!!!
God help me... god never listens to my cries for help..
I am only 14 and no adult in my life listens... either that or they ... make me uncomfy and or use me for gross nasty things and i cant do anything about it i am helpless
I am sorry that no adults listen to you and your needs. It must feel very lonely at this moment in your young life. I would go to the Police and tell them your story so they have to file a report. This automatically requires CPS to take a more deeper and serious look into your situation. Also inform your schoolcounselor and other teachers which whom you have a safe connection.

There are other organisations in the USA who can help you legally and emotionally to get through this.

Hopefully this can help you. I wish a lot of courage, love and strength.

Xoxo
 
So, @LittleBunnyLyn - I'm going to be very straight with you, without tiptoeing up to it.

Last time you were on the board, I asked you this question:

It's the second time I've asked you to be more specific about what you are and are not telling your therapist.

You're on this board for a reason, and people are interested in hearing what you have to say. They are asking you questions because they want to better understand.

So: they are willing to listen and engage. You need to be willing to respond.

What specifically are you telling your therapist? What do they say or do that tells you they aren't listening?

The most common reason this would happen? It would be that they suspect you're not telling the truth.

It's also possible that you haven't actually contacted them, what you're doing is telling us what you believe they would say to you. In fact, that's a very common thing that people in intensely stressful life circumstances will do - they know what the next step is, but they are afraid it'll fail and they will make their situation worse. So, they play it out in their minds and convince themselves they know how it's going to go wrong.

Is that what's happening for you?
I am telling my therapist that I need help, and do not think i should be living in my household.
I have told her about everything thats happened, like specific abuse thats happened to me, things that have been done to me, and all that stuff as well as the neglect.
Ive told my therapist my MOM has hit me and my SISTER multiple times, as well as threatened us, abused our old cat, neglected our needs, and all the emotional and verbal abuse and gaslighting from her, and my dad, but mostly my mom.
She must not be listening to me because she says that she cannot be the one who says if its abuse or not, and cant do anything about it.
She also says that she had already tried to talk to her boss to see if they could get cps out to my house AGAIN.
CPS has been to my house MULTIPLE times, i have a guardian ad lightum for my parents, its basically she fights for my PARANTS to keeo me in the home, not to get me out.
I have so many people against my side, All the people i could report to, have already tried to reach across to cps, but cps failed me so many times thart ive lost hope, I bet they just belive im a damn liar, i cant do anything bacuse im just a child, no one really wants to belive me, everyone absolutly LOVES my mom so it gives me no chance, she so manipulative.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
What country are you in @LittleBunnyLyn ?
Because of someone is hitting you or hurting you in some way, that could be a crime. So you could also try reporting to the police?
In some countries, depending on your age, you can sign yourself into state care (UK you need to be 16).

What do you want interms of your family? Would your T bring your mum to one of the sessions maybe to see how that can be made better?

If you have a Guardian as litum, does that mean there are family court proceedings for you? Their job is to listen to you, so you can always put in a complaint or ask to change that person if they aren't hearing you.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
She must not be listening to me because she says that she cannot be the one who says if its abuse or not, and cant do anything about it.
She also says that she had already tried to talk to her boss to see if they could get cps out to my house AGAIN.
Well, she's right in that as a mandatory reporter, it's not up to her to determine whether or not it's abuse. But it's a legal requirement for her to file a report for each incident. She can and should be doing that. CPS is legally required to investigate each claim.

Can I ask, do you live in a very populated place, like a major city? Or is it a suburb of a major city? The system being over-full can negatively impact how quickly CPS responds. Not saying that's OK, just wondering if that's also a factor in your situation.

(I'm assuming you're in the US, and also not living on an American Indian reservation...but please correct that, if I'm wrong)

CPS has been to my house MULTIPLE times, i have a guardian ad lightum for my parents, its basically she fights for my PARANTS to keeo me in the home, not to get me out.
Is the Guardian ad Litem appointed for abuse and neglect, or for custody proceedings? Have you been to court yet? @Movingforward10 is right on with this:
If you have a Guardian as litum, does that mean there are family court proceedings for you? Their job is to listen to you, so you can always put in a complaint or ask to change that person if they aren't hearing you.
It's difficult, because their job is to try and act in your best interests, and what they think is your best interest might not line up with what you think should happen. But as soon as you have a court date for the abuse/neglect proceedings, you should be able to request your own attorney for representation.
they ... make me uncomfy and or use me for gross nasty things
Any claim made by the child of sexual abuse in the home should be sufficient to have you removed from the home, in most states. You're put into foster care while the investigation goes on.
I have told her about everything thats happened, like specific abuse thats happened to me, things that have been done to me, and all that stuff as well as the neglect.
Ive told my therapist my MOM has hit me and my SISTER multiple times, as well as threatened us, abused our old cat, neglected our needs, and all the emotional and verbal abuse and gaslighting from her, and my dad, but mostly my mom.
I'm just trying to follow you here - did you disclose the sexual abuse? Or is there physical abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect, but not sexual abuse?

Thank you very much for responding. There are members here who have interacted with this process, from all different angles - and I encourage you to keep engaging with taking steps towards bettering your situation.
 
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