I am reading a book my therapist loaned to me and I was having trouble trying to do the exercises in it. I picked it up a few moments ago to try and read and do the exercise again and suddenly realized that I had already answered the exercise on a post here today.
Our minds are never completely at rest. The voids between our conscious thoughts are filled with the things that give us our world view, our social skills, it is the way we perceive the world through our experience and what we have been taught. One aspect of my "Inner Chatter"" I posted in 2 places today, on another thread in the discussions and in my diary. I woke up to the thought "Children should be seen and not heard". I have hated that saying but I also followed it because that is what I was taught but I never knew where it came from. I tried very hard not to pass that on to my children, I hope I succeeded. I think I have succeeded since my daughter takes the time to listen to her own children.
The thought is still a part of me, I get stressed and I revert to feeling like a 5 year old. I was not missed when I was kidnapped, no one listened to me and my injuries were invisible. I had to be quiet or I was choked, my air was cut off and only allowed to breath when I was silent enough. I could not say anything when he let me go because no one would listen and he made me promise to not tell or he would take me away again. I still feel that way, I am trying hard to change it but it is a slow process. That was 43 years ago now and it has only been the last few months that I could talk or even think about what happened without feeling his hand around my neck. It was only this morning that I could remember hearing those words coming from one of them.
It isn't just the memories of the trauma that make me feel that way, it was all through my marriage. I believed I had no voice because I still felt like a scared 5 year old whenever there was a little bit of conflict. It was whenever any conflict happened at work, I had no voice. I always felt like a child at those times when I needed to be a grown up the most.
Has anyone ever thought about what their "Inner Chatter" is telling them and how it impacted their lives?
Our minds are never completely at rest. The voids between our conscious thoughts are filled with the things that give us our world view, our social skills, it is the way we perceive the world through our experience and what we have been taught. One aspect of my "Inner Chatter"" I posted in 2 places today, on another thread in the discussions and in my diary. I woke up to the thought "Children should be seen and not heard". I have hated that saying but I also followed it because that is what I was taught but I never knew where it came from. I tried very hard not to pass that on to my children, I hope I succeeded. I think I have succeeded since my daughter takes the time to listen to her own children.
The thought is still a part of me, I get stressed and I revert to feeling like a 5 year old. I was not missed when I was kidnapped, no one listened to me and my injuries were invisible. I had to be quiet or I was choked, my air was cut off and only allowed to breath when I was silent enough. I could not say anything when he let me go because no one would listen and he made me promise to not tell or he would take me away again. I still feel that way, I am trying hard to change it but it is a slow process. That was 43 years ago now and it has only been the last few months that I could talk or even think about what happened without feeling his hand around my neck. It was only this morning that I could remember hearing those words coming from one of them.
It isn't just the memories of the trauma that make me feel that way, it was all through my marriage. I believed I had no voice because I still felt like a scared 5 year old whenever there was a little bit of conflict. It was whenever any conflict happened at work, I had no voice. I always felt like a child at those times when I needed to be a grown up the most.
Has anyone ever thought about what their "Inner Chatter" is telling them and how it impacted their lives?