Insert Swearish Rant Here

I am surrounded by f*ing children who need to get their f*ing shit together because I’m fact there are f*ing adults who need to do their f*ing jobs. They also need to start using their f*ing brains to f*ing think about things with at least a small child’s level of critical thinking, because right now they just act like robots or obediently trained dogs who can’t f*ing think on their own.

I am so f*ing done with this f*ing nonsense.
 
As well as being deranged I’m also stupid?! I see the irony in this but can I not just pick a state of mind and stick with it? Am I a victim or not?? Am I capable of complex human emotion or not?? I hate this unbelievable world for making the most basic truths somehow the most nebulous chore endless balancing act.

>Immense and life changing meltdown over feeling like my trauma will never be seen as anything other than comedy or porn and I’ll be doomed as being someone’s getting-off material forever and feel my humanity lost for the rest of time.
>Complete inability to empathise with myself because it’s “not a big deal” and feels “kind of self imposed” anyway so what’s the point of still being “upset” and
somehow feeling as if men can’t be traumatised by abuse despite constantly being upset that people seem to actually believe that.

Stupid porn and stupid hollywood. Nobody can have anything with them around. And this celebration of filth when books about “romantic” rape and abuse come out and people eat it up… No self reflection. No self respect. But then I’d be the villain for calling it wrong to sexually indulge in that? Are you trying to degenerate? What is going on?!

Woah, hold on now! Let’s not get too ahead of myself… Not when I can’t even settle on wether something horrible has happened to me or if I just need to stop caring like a “normal” reaction.
 
I hate so much porn and harm fetish and the people who write porn of my abuse and the permissiveness of the world. Degeneracy is thriving. I hope everything explodes.

Getting off to the idea of strangling someone? Involuntary, whatever. I can put my big boy cap on. Feeding into and indulging in it? Do you have any self-respect at all? Entertaining it will only reinforce it. Getting off to someone in distress, too. I will not pretend that is normal to seek out and I don’t care about your limp penis, this is insane to justify. Saturating every corner of everything. I’m so glad I don’t have a social media because it’s rampant like the plague over there regardless of what you’re there for.
Hate from wherever I am. They don’t give a damn about their own user policies.

Sick of people arguing for porn. I’d rather pluck an eye out. Thanks.
 
learn to say you are sorry and want to be a better person, it wont happen again. Or, go ahead and defend your actions and if indefensible create a supporting fantasy for them
a popular term for this is “ doubling down”, I think it is too weak and lacks clarity. From now on, I will call it a confirmation of suspicion of lack of worth. Thanks asshole, suspicion confirmed, you are worthless.
 
I hope these eight people on the train in particular blow up. It started with 6 who were bad enough, and 2 who were disruptive separately, and somehow they’ve joined forces to be the most insufferable people on the planet at this moment. Statutory rape and domestic violence isn’t funny. And they’re all really loud about it. And I really need whizz.
 
As a recovering lawyer I resemble that.
Most of my best/ surviving friends are lawyers

I’ve learned to like the way lawyers think. And feel. And act. It’s often contrary, to sooooo many things. But not to either common sense, nor law of the land. Which is something of a gift. Both the letter & spirt, in one person??? Is conflict.
 

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