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intense/out of control episodes

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panic stuff

Howdy. I am a young adult that has suffered from physical/emotional abuse from my parents when I was a child. For the past four or five years, I have experienced so called "panic attacks" or what I thought were panic attacks. They started out just as sweating, shaking, intense anxiety, hyperventilating, dissociation, etc.
Recently, more memories have been coming up. These "episodes" have become more and more intense. The last few flashbacks have led to 5-6 hour long stretches of extreme hyperventilation, trying to hit my head, going numb, extreme brain fog, feeling the need to yell/scream, forgetting where I'm at, and intense fear and awareness of noises(footsteps in a hallway, doors opening, footsteps coming up stairs). The past few episodes my friends have had to just hold me down until I tire myself out and drift in and out of sleep.
My main support network includes a therapist and some dear friends, but I feel so alone. I think I'm experiencing severe PTSD symptoms but I haven't been diagnosed yet. I've been medicated for a while and I've been in therapy for a while. Just feeling a little like I'm a monster, and no one else experiences these.
 
I’m sorry for the reasons you are here, but you are in good company. Hypervigilance episodes have been extremely difficult and scary for me as well. EMDR has helped me immensely in decreasing these episodes. I’m glad you have medication and therapy to help you along your journey. Does your therapist have a good trauma background?
 
My main support network includes a therapist and some dear friends
Recently, more memories have been coming up. These "episodes" have become more and more intense. The last few flashbacks have led to 5-6 hour long stretches of extreme hyperventilation, trying to hit my head, going numb, extreme brain fog, feeling the need to yell/scream, forgetting where I'm at, and intense fear and awareness of noises(footsteps in a hallway, doors opening, footsteps coming up stairs). The past few episodes my friends have had to just hold me down until I tire myself out and drift in and out of sleep.
Have you shared these symptoms with your therapist? And in this much detail?
 
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